TOEFL® essay: Some people argue for a broad university education in which students

[Krrish1192]

Some people argue for a broad university education in which students learn about many different subjects. Others argue for a specialized university education in which students learn only about a specific field of study. Which position do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Universities are those in which we can study on different area. In this world without education we do nothing. Each and every field requires education is some way. Means many technology, work, construction, and in our daily life education is beneficial directly or indirectly. However some area requires specialized education but in my opinion students learn about many different subjects.
In this competitive world if people have more knowledge in all area they can stand up with the other competitive. In general university you can learn about as many subjects as you wish and you can gain knowledge about different subject. For examples if any person have knowledge in computer as well as some in electric you can perform both task very well. And by this way you can save some money. However more difficult task requires more know ledge but still general knowledge have more advantages then special knowledge. In broad university education in which students learn about many different subjects you can enter any course and after obtaining degree in this field you can also simultaneously work on other subject so your mind can grow in different area and skill improve in many area.
In specialized university education in which students learn only about a specific field of study so students obtain only knowledge of that particular subject. It like a ‘’Frog in the well”, this frog cannot knowledge about outside of world and this frog has only knowledge of well not about anything. If we put this frog outside he will not accept out environment and he may be die after some time. If we do comparison between frog and university ‘’Well is describe as specialized university while other outside environment is describe as general university. If we study in specialized university our situation may become as ‘’Frog’’. However specialized university give deeper knowledge about that particular subject, but general university has much more advantage.
In sort I conclude that in this wide world if we like to success and like to save money, we requires knowledge in different area or subject.

[Cune]

I'm sorry, but I'm not qualified to rate your essay. The good thing is that you didn't miss the topic. You have organized your essay well.

You need to work on your grammar. Every sentence has at least one mistake.

Try to rewrite this essay using shorter sentences. Read a lot and learn from it. Start simple, and build up from there gradually; do not try to compose long, complicated sentences until you gain enough confidence about your grammar.

Practice makes perfect!

[Gregduane]

You will get 2.5 points for your essay.

First, there are many grammatical errors in your essay, which will "frustrate" the ETS raters, even though they tend to be very patient.

Second, in the introduction part of your essay, you stated indirectly taht you argue for the position that a broard education should be provided to students so that they can learn about many different subjects. In order to get a high score, you should provide three different reasons why you argue for this position in the body part of your essay; and you should also talk about the three reasons in three different paragraphs.

Third, in the third paragraph, you unnecessarily talked a lot about the drawbacks of providing a specialized education to students, which is off-topic actually, and will harm the unity of your essay. Remeber, your argument is that "A broard education should be provided to students so that they can learn about many different subjects", not that "I am opposed to the idea that a specialized university education should be provided to students so that they can learn only about a specific field of study." Though the two arguments actually express the same meaning, they are worded differently. So they should be defended in different ways.

Finally, you should have at least two sentences in the conclusion part of your essay if you want a high score. The first sentence should summarize the viewpoints you have made in the body part, and the second sentence should be one that is inspirational to readers (raters in TOEFL essay).

[Krrish1192]

Thank you. For your guidance. I take toefl on 4th april.So i have not enough time. Would you please give me some advise about how i can get good marks. I gave toefl in past but my score is law 64only.

[Believe]

Some people argue for a broad university education in which students learn about many different subjects. Others argue for a specialized university education in which students learn only about a specific field of study. Which position do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Education is very important factor for successful lives in the high competitive recent world .there are two obviously different categories of education, broad educations which teach whole basic subjects and specialized universities which students can learn only necessary subjects which related their interests. In my opinion I strongly prefer studying in specialized academy than in a broad academy because of teaching programs, infrastructures and skillful teachers.

First of all I think the specialized academy always design and evoke their teaching programs suite to student’s concentrations for build them clever or skillful. for example engineering schools they must focus on their own subjects such as practice how to repair machine and develop electric system or construct building structure because those significant subjects students must know before work in real lives.

Secondly there are many advantage infrastructures support specific education, as engineering schools, There are many advanced technology laboratories for demonstrating to students so that they can understand theories easily whereas almost broad universities do not have enough instrument aid for specialized field because of they have to spread their budget to other field so if they focus on one field they can invest all budget to improve their learning foundation.

Furthermore, In the specialized universities are knowledge source which pool of expert teachers who concentrate on their scope that mean they are professional in their field so they will teach and give beneficial advice to students. For example when you study in engineering school, teachers can answer your question which related in their field and teach you in great teaching solution on the other hand other kind schools sometimes there are not enough good teachers who have high education the effect from this school is they will not be prosperous in their job position.

In conclusion I strongly argue that idea about students should decide to attend specialized academy because of studying programs, infrastructures, knowledge teachers so I completely believe that this school must provide valuable benefits to you as a student.