TOEFL® essay: Do you prefer to use your knowledge and experience to solve problems

[Gray]

Someone has rightly said, “The private victories should precede public victories”. We should start first with ourselves. To be able to learn something from others, we should be capable of learning first. And that happens inside us, not outside.

But we cannot exist on our own. Everything we have, we acquire from others. What is unique then is our own perception and reasoning. But to large extent that perception and reasoning is shaped by our experiences. Therefore, making the choice between our own knowledge and others’ is not just difficult but impractical.

For example, for repairing your vehicle, you could read everything from a book. But it is impractical to spend that much of time on a fix which a mechanic can solve in minutes. Because he has that expertise and experience. We cannot be versatile enough to solve each and every problem we encounter in our life.

But when it comes to personal issues like stretched relationships you have to turn inwards. You could get help from your closed ones but you should not rely solely on them, because they cannot perceive what you can. Also, by facing such problems on our own, we learn to make decisions for ourselves and to live with those decisions. Hence, we become responsible.

In conclusion, instead of perceiving it as a dilemma, we should better learn to distinguish between what we are capable of doing, what is our responsibility and what can be delegated to others.
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First lesson - English, not english. I, not i. ~A student of English

[Kitosdad]

[Gray]

Hello Bill,

Thanks a lot. It sounds native now I would be having 'what-I-learnt' post sometime if not right now.
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First lesson - English, not english. I, not i. ~A student of English

[Gray]

Here is what I have learnt (though much of it I am excluding for brevity) --

1) 'The private victories should precede...' can be made personal and hence effective if we say 'Our private victories...'.

2) 'We should start' sounds awkward, use 'begin' instead.

3) What is unique then is our own perception and reasoning.
I didn't get the reason behind removing 'then', could you please explain? I felt that 'then' was a kind of transition.

4) Therefore, making the choice between our own knowledge and that of others’...
It would be grammatically incorrect if we exclude 'that of'.

5) 'when wishing to repair your vehicle...'.
More apt grammatically.

6) 'You could read everything from a repair manual'.
'Book' is awkward again, 'repair manual' fits here.

7) 'Close-ones' instead of 'closed ones'.

Thanks again for pouring the life into words
_________________
First lesson - English, not english. I, not i. ~A student of English

[Kitosdad]

Hi Gray, I am sorry for having missed your question first time around, so I am just getting round to it.

Why I left the " then " out was because I felt that :-

3)What is unique, is our own perception and reasoning.( not others )

Please note the comma after unique. This essay is, after all, about YOUR opinion, not others.

3) What is unique then is our own perception and reasoning.
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If you need me, I'm here.

[Gray]

Hey, thanks a lot...that sentence was somewhat rhythmic but a mere perception of mine

I am yet to catch up with my promise to myself -- to write an essay for this week
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First lesson - English, not english. I, not i. ~A student of English

[Kitosdad]

What I do find difficult Gray, is my ability to stay abreast, let alone ahead, of your ever-inquisitive mind.

I am, after all, merely a humble Englishman, doing my best to help.

You must have been an headache to your English teacher when you were is school.
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If you need me, I'm here.

[Gray]