TOEFL® essay: People attend college or university for many reasons...

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Hi! everyone. I am preparing for my toefl test next two weeks. I want to improve my writing skill. Below is my essay. May you find out and correct my mistakes. Thanks in advance!
Topic:
People attend college or university for many reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increase knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Essay:
To attend or not to attend university is one of the most important decisions in student’s life. People who choose to study in university usually have their own purposes. Among these, there are two main reasons for people to be present at university: job preparation, family pressure, improve knowledge.
What people think first when they want to attend university is job preparation. Student must choose the major that they will get involved in when they are studying in university and after have been graduated. It is useless if we spend a long time studying in university but can not find any suitable job then. Furthermore, the development of society demands employee not only skills but also knowledge. This means, graduated students will have more chance to be employed than who did not study in university or college.
However, not all people think about career first, knowledge is another good reason to study in university. There are many students have enough finance to support their study, and they want to get as high education as possible. In addition, some people who are employed attend university to increase their skill and knowledge. With higher degree, they would have more opportunity to get higher position in company or organization. Finally, there are people who like science and research want to attend university to develop their science knowledge.
Although there are many other reasons for people to be present at university, two reason above are the most likely. Nevertheless, not purpose are better than others, because each person has their own situation. Choose this or choose that does not the problem. The more important thing should be think about is how to study well when we attend university.