TOEFL® essay: Problems that city causes on people and environment

[Thunu]

Hello everybody, This is my essay for this week. Correct my mistakes about the way of using words and grammatical structures if you don't mind. Thank you.

Maybe none of us don’t wish a perfect life with the service of moderm equipments. In general, urban life can bring us more conveniences and chances in every aspect such as job, health, education… than other areas because city is an urban area with a high population density and a particular administrative, legal, or historical status. Large industrialized cities generally have advanced systems for sanitation, utilities, housing, trasportation and more. However, beside its positive aspect, we can find cities’ bad impacts on people and environment.

The first, urban life’s easily caught illnesses.
In the information technology age, stress is considered as an illness. In busy urban life, stress is a sign of overdoing. The burden of work and using regularly Internet make you tired and useasy. Working in buildings, living in self-contained flats and having processed food make us lack of natural air and get immune allergies. The investigations proved rate of urban children getting immune allergies is half as much again as rural ones. In addition, due to the quality of high population density and complex groups of varied inhabitants, social evils increase in central big cities such as thievery, murder, drug addiction, prostitution…

The second, problems that city causes for environment.
Urban area concentrates varied civilizations but have many environmental problems. City is the area uses excessively natural resources and arises many kinds of rubbish. Industrial rubbishes we can know are old computers, mobile phones, cars… According to recent statistics, 20 millions of computers were thrown away every year in US, amount of electronic rubbish is estimated to increase three times in EU in 2010, 20 millions of cell phones became rubbish every year in China… The rubbish cause environment pollution, therefore influence on life and health. So protecting environment is supposed to be a global matter. Blacksmiths research institude in US selected the most 10 polluted cities in the world such as Lam Phan, Tianying in China; Sukinda in India...

In summary, in order for us to have livable cities, many problems have to be solved. It requires the exertion of not only governments but also each people.
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