TOEFL® essay: Honesty, loyalty and understanding are the three significant...

[Shradaq]

Dear english-test helper,

I am thank you very much for your help on my paragraph. You know what; I got an A on that quiz. I’m so happy. Again thank you very much. I told to my friend that got help from you guy and I give them your website. But one of my friend dose not has computer so she give me her homework and could you please help her correct it? One more time, many thanks.

Have a beautiful weekend.

This is my friend paragraph:

Honesty, loyalty and understanding are the three significant characteristics I seek in a good friend. There are several reasons why I go for those expectations. Firstly, my good friend needs to be an honest person in everything she or he does. In addition, with the deep faith in my friendship, the honest would tell me who else is true and realistic through her or his words and actions. For example, I expect that an honest friend always. Tells truth and acts in real meanings as well as with real feeling. This is how I can trust her or him. Secondly, loyalty is my expectation in a good friend, since I believe that a good friend is willing to be beside me in a happy time and also in a bad time. Consequently, that could who really does care for what are happening to my life. Finally, I love to have an understanding friend in order to be a good friend. This characteristic is very important because it reveals to me all the sympathy toward and my situations. For instance, a good friend would understand my feelings and my emotions. That is how we can get along well thought time. All in all, honesty, loyalty and understanding are my three significant characteristics I seek in a good friend. I think a good quality when I have a good friend.

[Kitosdad]

This is my friends paragraph:

Honesty, loyalty and understanding are the three significant characteristics I seek in a good friend. There are several reasons why I go for those.

Firstly, my good friend needs to be an honest person in everything she or he does.
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In addition, with the deep faith in my friendship, the honest would tell me who else is true and realistic through her or his words and actions. ( This makes no sense.)
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For example, I expect that a friend should always be honest with me.
Always telling the truth and acting with real feeling. This is how I know can trust her or him.

Secondly, loyalty is my expectation in a good friend, since I believe that a good friend is willing to be beside me in a happy times, and also in a bad times.

Consequently, that could who really does care for what are happening to my life.???????
( Rubbish. )

Finally, I need to have an understanding friend in order for them to be considered a good friend. This characteristic is very important because it reveals to me all the sympathy toward me and my problems.

For instance, a good friend would understand my feelings and my emotions. That is how we can get along well through difficult times.

All in all, honesty, loyalty and understanding are the three significant characteristics I seek in a good friend.

ps. You can't say " finally ", and then continue to say, " for instance ".
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