I'm learning the way to write a comparision essay

[Giang]

hi everybody, I'm learning the way to write a comparision essay. You can give me some tips to write it. This is an essay I wrote. Task: Write comparision 2 jobs you have had.Please read it and comment fo me.
I'm sure anybody has a part time job when they are at university.I'm not out of them. With experiencing 2 jobs I have had, I find there are many similarities between them seller and volunteer.
First of all, with my 2 jobs, I have to use English at work. I work as a seller for a Gallery.Customers coming there are mainly foreigners so I have to communicate in English.In the same way, now I'm a volunteer for an NGO and the language I have to use is English because there are also many foreign volunteers there, my task is go and work with them.
Secondly, I feel lucky enough to have both good bosses.My boss at Gallery can't speak English so sometimes he gives me some tips after I talk and make a foreigner buy his picture.Beside, he shows me some communication skills and the way of working professionally.My second boss is also very kind.He is good at English and I learn much from him.Sometimes, he askes me to translate some articles and checks it carefully.
Third similarities I can find is chance to meet a lot of people at both jobs.Working as a seller, I meet a lot of famous painters in Hanoi and even some artists in other artistic fields. Especially, I meet and talk to a lot of foreigners. With a volunteer, I often take part in many social activities of the organization.Therefore, I meet a lot of people: the old, the poor, the disabled or children.
Inspite of 2 jobs in2 different fields of life, with me they share some similarities.I feel very pleasured with both of them.I have many interesting things from them.
please check for me
Thanks so much!

[Kitosdad]

I'm sure everybody has had a part time job when they were at University.
I'm no exception. I have had two such jobs, and have gained experience from them both.

I find there are many similarities between sellers and volunteers, which were the two part-time jobs that I am talking about.

My first job was as a seller in a gallery, and I had to speak a lot of English there due to the many foreign visitors , many of whom spoke only English. So I had to communicate in English.

In my second job, ( I'm a volunteer for an NGO ), I had to also use English, because there were also many foreign volunteers there. My task was to go and work with them.

Secondly, I felt lucky enough to have had two good bosses. My boss at the Gallery couldn't speak English, so sometimes he gave me some salesmen's tips which I used to persuade foreign buyers to buy his pictures. He also taught me some communication skills, and the way to act as a working professional.

My second boss was also very kind.He was good at English, and I learnt quite a lot from him. Sometimes, he asked me to translate some articles, and then he checked them very carefully.

Third similarity that I found was the chance to meet a lot of people at both jobs.

Working as a seller, I met a lot of famous painters in Hanoi, and even some artists in other artistic fields. I met and talked to a lot of foreigners.

As a volunteer, I often took part in the many social activities of the organization. Therefore, I met a lot of people: the old, the poor, the disabled and their children.

In spite of the two jobs being in two different environments, I found that they shared many similarities. I felt very happy with both of them, and I have learned many interesting things whilst doing them.
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Merocasa]

i cannot corrcet your essay since iam not professional but what i can say that your essay is fantastic and coherent as well as it shows that you are skillful in writting essays.good job friend.from merocasa.