| I know it is neither poetic, nor gripping, but it will suffice for my question... | Meaning of 'cook money' |
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#1 (permalink) Wed Apr 22, 2009 14:32 pm Paragraph: Immigration has increased in the last decades, owing... |
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please i would like you to correct my paragraph about immigration.
Immigration has increased in the last decades,owing to the circumstances that people live under,and therefore; it has both drawbacks and advantages. Due to the tough conditions that people go through in several parts of the world: hunger,war,econmic crisises,disasters ,they have to flee their home-lands towards others in order live a quiet and peaceful life,also have a better source of living,but immigration can put a strain on the hostage countries'economy,as well as it forms a homogenous society which is unacceptable in many countries. immigration is also a way of success through which the highly gratuated or people with new projects,innovations,particularlly these who could not achieved this in their home country. to sum up,immigration is good in a way that can be useful for both the immigrants and the host-country,but it is a bit negative when it is cosidered as a heavy-burden. |
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Merocasa I'm new here and I like it ;-)

Joined: 17 Nov 2008 Posts: 45 Location: Morocco
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#2 (permalink) Wed Apr 22, 2009 16:13 pm paragraph |
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| .where are you all .no answer.iam waiting for your answers. |
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Merocasa I'm new here and I like it ;-)

Joined: 17 Nov 2008 Posts: 45 Location: Morocco
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#3 (permalink) Wed Apr 22, 2009 18:53 pm paragraph |
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Merocasa, don't be so impatient. Many of our people are either still sleeping, or working due to the time differences. I'm always around, so let me have a try.
I found your short essay, not paragraph, to be very interesting and full of pertinent points.
If it were to be handed in as a written work however, you would be disappointed to see that you earned only 60% or so.
Why.? Paragraphs were too long. ( More use of sentences, could have been made. ) Lack of capital letters at the start of sentences. Your subject was about emigration, not immigration.
These comments are only my opinion, but are offered in friendship and not as criticisms.
Kitosdad. _________________ Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting. |
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Kitosdad Language Coach

Joined: 04 Mar 2009 Posts: 13417 Location: ESSEN, Germany, (but English.)
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#4 (permalink) Wed Apr 22, 2009 20:16 pm paragraph |
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Emigration has increased in the last decade owing to the circumstances that people live under and therefore, it has both drawbacks and advantages.
Due to the tough conditions that people go through in several parts of the world, hunger, war,economic crisises, disasters , they have to flee their home-lands towards others in order live a quiet and peaceful life.
They also seek a better standard of living.
The major drawback as seen by the host country, is that immigration can put a strain on that countries economy. Also it tends to form a homogeneous society, which is unacceptable in many countries.
Emigration can also be seen as a way to success for people with new innovative projects, particularly those who could not achieve this success in their home country.
In conclusion,immigration is good insomuch as it can be useful for both the new immigrants and the host-country.
But it can also be considered in a negative light, when seen as a financial burden by the host country. _________________ Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting. |
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Kitosdad Language Coach

Joined: 04 Mar 2009 Posts: 13417 Location: ESSEN, Germany, (but English.)
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#5 (permalink) Wed Apr 22, 2009 21:17 pm paragraph |
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thank you so much mister kitosdad as you are giving me your hands,and am Im sure i will improve my english i need your help,not only yours but every one's .as well as i would like to know the difference between emigration and immigration. vilen dank herr kitosdad fur die hilf,ich muss lernen mehr und mich darauf vorbereiten.weil ich nichts an der uni gelernte habe,ich hass die. |
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Merocasa I'm new here and I like it ;-)

Joined: 17 Nov 2008 Posts: 45 Location: Morocco
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#6 (permalink) Thu Apr 23, 2009 5:12 am paragraph |
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Good morning Merocasa my friend, " Emigration " is the act of leaving your country for another.
I become an " immigrant " upon entering my new country.
Take care little dove of peace.
Kitosdad. _________________ Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting. |
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Kitosdad Language Coach

Joined: 04 Mar 2009 Posts: 13417 Location: ESSEN, Germany, (but English.)
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| I know it is neither poetic, nor gripping, but it will suffice for my question... | Meaning of 'cook money' |