TOEFL® essay: Some people prefer to take a position in a company and work for...

[Helen111]

Some people prefer to take a position in a company and work for the company. Other people think it is better to go into a business for themselves. Which do you think is better? Give reasons and examples to support your idea.

One Step For You, One Step For Me, Giant Step For Us
Undoubtedly,that the choice between to work for a company or to work in own business depends on not only a person’s financial possibility but his/her mental needs, too. As I am concerned, if I should choose between them,I would prefer to work into my own business. Firstly, because I like to try new things, or take a risk for something new. On the other hand, I would like to work independently and lead my business from the point of my view and could improve my skills in the area or field of my own business. Last but not least, if I take a risk and decide that I start my own business I could realize my desire.
Having my own business involves me to take a risk for new things. I mean the necessary knowledge improvements for a profitable business. As I am the principal, the manager, the accounter, and also the workers in one hand, in other words the employee and as well as the employer, I am interested in all of these positions. It is a very serious sense of responsibility and a great challenge as well, and I definitely confess that without risks my life would be boring .
As I have known myself well, I always wanted to work independently because I have many ideas to show the way for a really efficient and satisfied business. These are the valuable knowledge I have to study and gain continously, the ability or the skill to manage the business affairs, and of course the financial things, or fund. If I have all of them I am ready to start and could realize my own ideas and carrier, whereas it would not be possible that I can profit these ideas in a company
Imagine that you realize one of your desire. What would be the first step to have an own business? It is a decision for your better life. In that case I have already done the proper and propelling step to reach my goal, the other steps will come automatically, because I made a decision only for me, only for my business, for my succesful life, for my make-ends-meet or for my safe job. I can get to my own business, to my desire and I will become successful, step by step.
All of my reasons considered, to have my own business give me several new opportunities for my self- improvement, and a chance to be financially independent, what is more it is the best way that my dream will come true. It is not only a challenge but a really hard and a clear self-knowledge. The idea that I prefer to go into my business for myself than to work for a company does fit in with my aims because: I am, I am that.

I would like someone to rate this essay Thanks Helen

TOEFL listening lectures: What does DNA analysis reveal about the domestication of horses?

[Kitosdad]

Helen, thanks for your essay. It was a pleasure to read something that was written by a person who embraces Basic English.

Your essay was essentially good, but waffled around all over the place. Your introduction was pretty good, but slowly became a tangle of ideas and objectives.

Try to itemise your intentions and lay them out in the order of their importance in relation to your objective.

This was a good essay, spoiled only by the lack of foresight, but GOOD nevertheless.

Kitosdad.
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Helen111]

[Kitosdad]

Helen, always a pleasure.

Kitosdad.
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Helen111]

Thank you for your answer and if you have time read please a new essay Why people visit museums?

I welcome your remarks, thanks Helen

There isn't a bigger city where we can't find a museum in the world. There are several reasons why people visit museums. One of these reasons is that we want to see exhibitions about history of a place. Another reason is that we would like to see everyday objects and clothing of the inhabitants. People also visit museums simple because they are interested in the leaders or kings of the place or country where they go to.

As I am concerned, if I travel to a city even if I have to go there e.g. to a course or to spend my leisure time with my friends or with my family, I always try to gain information about the place's history and visit to a historical museum there. Museums are the special places where we can get the correct, or real happenings and history of the place from specialized guide-tourists.

There are so called folklor museums in some places where we can see everyday objects and clothing of the inhabitants. These are the household gadgets or devices, ancient coins, hunting tools what they used, and sometimes special and typical clothes what they wore.

My city, Székesfehérvár, is a telling example of where people go to visit for its special Medieval Park Museum. Our country's kings were crowned and also burried in this ancient city and theirs coffin are exhibited in this openly Park Museum. It is a special area where we can fill up, or breath in this unique ancient air.

I believe that visiting museums is a very useful spending time to anybody because it contributes to develop our historical and cultural knowledge whether we wonder the history of the place, the household gadgets and clothes what inhabitants used , or interested in the previous leaders or ancient kings of the towns.

[Kitosdad]

Oh, Helen, Helen, Helen. So much work for so little return. If I were to be an examiner I would take into account that non-native speakers are also devoid of English thought patterns, but I'm not, and they don't. Therefore this is hard work with a poor score I'm afraid.

You are obviously a fan of museums, and yet you failed to exhort the wonder that you feel when entering such a place. The feeling of history, and of the peoples long gone.

When you are so interested in such a subject, then forget that you are writing an essay, and allow how you feel whenever you enter a museum to pour out of you. The fact that you could spend hours there amongst the exhibits if only time allowed. How you wonder about these items and the lifestyle that people were forced to endure in those times. Fill the page with your feelings, not what is in the glass cases. They are almost secondary.

I will edit it somewhat for you with pleasure. Helen, you are capable of so much more.
Prove me correct, and do it again, this time with feeling. Would you do that ?

Bill.
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Kitosdad]

Every large city in the World boasts at least one Museum. There are several reasons why people visit museums. One of these reasons is that we want to see exhibitions about the history of a country.. Another reason is that we would like to see everyday objects and clothing of the inhabitants. People also visit museums simply because they are interested in the leaders or kings of the country that they are visiting.

As far as I am concerned, if I travel to a city, even if I have to go there to attend a course, or to spend my leisure time with my friends or family, I always try to gain information about the place's history by paying a visit to its historical museum .

Museums are special places. Buildings where we can find in great detail the correct, or real happenings and history of the place, from specialised tourist-guides.

There are so-called folklore museums in some places, where we can see everyday objects and clothing of the inhabitants. These are the household gadgets or devices, ancient coins, hunting tools that were used, and sometimes special or typical clothes that they wore.

My city, Székesfehérvár, is an example of where people go to visit.
One of its greatest attractions is the Medieval Park Museum. Our country's kings were crowned and also buried in this ancient city, and theirs coffin are openly exhibited in this Park Museum. It is a special area, where we can breathe in this unique ancient ambience.There is nowhere else in Székesfehérvár quite like it.

I personally believe that time spent visiting museums is time well spent, because it contributes in developing our historical and cultural knowledge, whether we wonder about the history of the place, the household gadgets and clothes that the inhabitants used , or in furthering the interest in the previous leaders or ancient kings of the towns.
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Namcy]

Although, some people would prefer having their own business, I prefer working or being associated with a company. There are a few reasons for my choice.

Firstly, being financially secured is the main reason why I prefer working for a company. To start up any business, a lot of investment is required. Most of them would be starting their businesses with huge loans. Also, the return on such exorbitant investment is questionable. The business may do great or may not do good at all. There is no assurance on as to how well it will go. I am a person who likes to be in a comfort zone.
By working for a company, I am being paid a fixed amount which is more than enough for my daily needs. Even if the company is not doing very well, I get the return for my work. The only worry is when a situation arises where a company is in huge debt and has to cut down all the costs and thereby firing off the employees. But, the probability of this happening is very remote compared to that of owning a business. Also, I have the option of switching to other job even if that happens, whereas if I have a business which is not doing good it is very difficult to close it and think of another one because of the huge finances involved.

Owning a business which is not performing well and not giving good returns can create lot of mental tension and stress which is less common when I work for a company. Consequences of a poor business can be very hazardous and affect personal and family life. When a person loses all his money in business, he can resort to other means of getting money drawing him towards unhealthy practices like gambling. To relieve his stress, he can resort to drinking and other vices.

Last but not the least, I also believe that working for a company gives me a chance to meet different people. Working with people from different countries helps me gain knowledge about different customs, beliefs, food etc. Creates a healthy environment with exchange of thoughts and ideas enriching me day by day.

Being a part of a big company provides me a better opportunity to influence society and country. I would not have that privilege when I am owning my own business.
Because of all these reasons, I would definitely prefer working for a company rather than owning a business.

[Kitosdad]

:D :D :D Excellent Namcy.

Kitosdad.
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.