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TOEFLŪ Essay: Spend time with one or two close friends or with a large number...



 
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TOEFL Essay: Spend time with one or two close friends or with a large number... #1 (permalink) Fri Apr 24, 2009 6:24 am   TOEFL Essay: Spend time with one or two close friends or with a large number...
 

Please rate and correct it for me. Thanks a lot!!!

Topic: Some people prefer to spend time with one or two close friends. Others choose to spend time with a large number of friends. Compare the advantages of each choice. Which of these two ways of spending time do you prefer? Use specific reasons to answer.

People can choose as many friends as they want to keep relationship with but I would rather have my time with only a few ones. One reason is that I can confide in my dear friends. Another is that I also do not have much time. Moreover, I can take care of my friends better when I do not have many.

I often exchange confidences with my intimate friends. It is easier to share your stories between two people than to do that among a large group. My closest friend and I can talk for hours together about our opinions, feelings or love secrets. She always tries to keep quiet about what I told her to do. But I am not sure that numerous group can do the same thing.

I can also spend more time with a few of my best fiends. I have many relationships and things to do in my life other than friendship. So just a part of my time is for friends. You can keep frequent contact with many of your friends but you need much time, too. When I feel sad or happy and want to share with somebody, I often loiter with my close friend on the park or go to a coffee shop to gossip with her.

Finally, I want to understand my chums better and help them when they need me. I can go to play with many people but I can not take a good care of all. With one or two friends, I can listen to them more and understand them deeplier. Therefore, I can make our friendship stronger and be a thoughtful friend.

In conclusion, having a big group of frequent friends is good but personally I feel best only when I stay beside my chummies friends. I can tell them my secrets and reserve my time for them. I am always willing to listen to them and share with my dear buddies not only happiness but also difficulties in our lifes. I hope our unshakeable friendship will go with us in the rest of our lifes.

TOEFL listening lectures: Why does the professor discuss an experiment with dummies?
Shylove
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Joined: 23 Apr 2009
Posts: 4

TOEFL Essay: Spend time with one or two close friends or with a large number. #2 (permalink) Fri Apr 24, 2009 7:36 am   TOEFL Essay: Spend time with one or two close friends or with a large number.
 

Good morning, A nice warm essay that goes a long way to saying who you are. A little bit repetitive, and a couple of basic errors.

I have to go to do some work in a moment, but if no-one has taken the time to make any further comment, then I will do my best to amend it a little.

Kitosdad.
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Kitosdad
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TOEFL Essay: Spend time with one or two close friends or with a large number... #3 (permalink) Fri Apr 24, 2009 8:12 am   TOEFL Essay: Spend time with one or two close friends or with a large number...
 

Thank you very much for your comment. So it's equal to 4.25/5 in Toefl score, isn't it? I myself aren't satisfied by my essay but I feel confused and not know how to make it better.
So if it is possible, please give me some ideas about the way to develope my specific main points.

By the way, why do u call me Andrea?
Shylove
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Joined: 23 Apr 2009
Posts: 4

TOEFL Essay: Spend time with one or two close friends or with a large number. #4 (permalink) Fri Apr 24, 2009 11:42 am   TOEFL Essay: Spend time with one or two close friends or with a large number.
 

Some people prefer to have many friends, perhaps to make themselves feel popular, but I would rather spend my time with only a few very close friends.

One reason is that I can confide in my close friends. Another is that I also do not have that much spare time, so what little I do have, I prefer to share with really close friends. Moreover, I can attend to my friends better when I do not have so many.

I often exchange confidences with my intimate friends. It is easier to share your stories between two people than to do so amongst a large group. My closest friend and I can talk for hours together about our opinions, feelings or love secrets. She always keeps secret the very personal things that we have discussed. I know I can rely on her to do so, but I couldn't be so sure with a larger group.

I can also spend more time with a few of my best fiends. I have many other things to do in my life other than concentrating on friendships. So only a part of my time is allocated for my friends.

You can keep frequent contact with many of your friends, but you need a lot of time to do so. When I feel sad or happy and want to share with somebody, I often loiter with my close friend in the park, or we go to a coffee shop , just to gossip by ourselves.

Finally, I want to understand my friends better, and to help them when they need me. I can play with many people but I cannot take good care of them all. With one or two friends, I can listen to them more, and understand them far better. Therefore, I can make our friendship stronger, and in doing so, be a more thoughtful friend.

In conclusion, having a big group of casual friends is good, but personally I feel at my
best only when I stand beside my very closest friends. I can tell them my secrets and reserve my time for them. I am always willing to listen to them, and share with my dear buddies not only happiness, but also the many difficulties in our lives. I hope our unshakeable friendship will stay with us for the rest of our lives.

ps. By the way, why do u call me Andrea? I did so because I though I read your name as Shyone. My oversight. :oops:
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.
Kitosdad
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Joined: 04 Mar 2009
Posts: 13518
Location: ESSEN, Germany, (but English.)

TOEFL Essay: Spend time with one or two close friends or with a large number... #5 (permalink) Wed May 06, 2009 11:33 am   TOEFL Essay: Spend time with one or two close friends or with a large number...
 

Come back after a busy time.
Your suggestion is really nice to give me some clear orientation. A big thank for you!!
Would you mind revising some other ones for me?
Shylove
New Member


Joined: 23 Apr 2009
Posts: 4

TOEFL Essay: Spend time with one or two close friends or with a large number... #6 (permalink) Wed May 06, 2009 11:55 am   TOEFL Essay: Spend time with one or two close friends or with a large number...
 

My pleasure .... any-time.
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.
Kitosdad
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Joined: 04 Mar 2009
Posts: 13518
Location: ESSEN, Germany, (but English.)

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