TOEFL® essay: Some students prefer to attend a small university.

[DraganNYC]

This is the first essay I prepared for TOEFL. Although I understand that there are no a lot of professors here on forum I would sppreciate if somebody could rate it in order to give me some picture where I am. Thanks.

9. Some students prefer to attend a small university. Others prefer to attend a big university. Discuss the advantages of each. Then indicate which type of university you prefer? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

In today’s competitive world good education is very important, and for that reason students have to choose school which can, on a best possible way, meet their needs. Some people prefer to attend a small university because they believe that personal contact between student and teacher is very important element for getting a good grades. Others are of the opinion that only a big university can provide them with necessary knowledge for further advancement in their careers. With this arguments on mind, I would rather choose to attend big university.
First group of people is of the opinion that students on the big universities do not receive appropriate attention, because there are so many of them and professors do not have enough time for all of them. For this reason, quite often, students performance is decreased and instead to bear fruits from attendance to big university they sometimes have to attend a university programme two or more times. On the other hand, on small universities students can develop good relationship with their professors. Moreover, professors have enough time and can dedicate all their attention to the small group of students who attend their classes.
Second group of people, whose arguments I support, believe that, although, there are some disadvantages at big universities positive elements prevail. It is clear that vast educational opportunities on this institutions, such as, huge libraries, Nobel prize educators or excellent organization of curriculums are important elements which provide opportunity for personal development. For instance, big universities are usually very competitive, and the fact that students do not have full attention of the professors push them to use all available resources, study harder and to develop leadership skills. Furthermore, those who prove themselves will be rewarded later on when they start looking for a good job.

In conclusion, the aforementioned arguments like good organization and opportunity for personal initiative, clearly outweigh some disadvantages of big universities. Needless, to say, people should always follow their own heart and choose whatever they consider to be the right choice.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a university adviser and a student

[Kitosdad]

In today’s competitive world good education is of the utmost importance, and for that reason students have to choose the very best school that they are able, in keeping with their needs.

Some students prefer to attend a small university because they believe that the personal contact between the students and the teachers is a very important element for achieving better grades.

Others are of the opinion that only the bigger university can provide them with the necessary knowledge for further advancement in their careers. With this argument in mind, I would rather choose to attend a bigger university.

The first group of people are of the opinion that students at the bigger universities do not receive appropriate attention, because there are so many of them, and professors do not have enough time for all of them. For this reason, quite often, an individuals performance is not as good as was initially hoped for, and they sometimes find that they have to attend a university programme two or more times.

On the other hand, the smaller universities students can develop good relationship with their professors. Moreover, professors have enough time and can dedicate all their attention to the smaller group of students who attend their classes.

The second group of people, whose arguments I support, believe that, although there are some disadvantages at bigger universities, positive elements do prevail. It is clear that vast educational opportunities exist at these institutions, such as; Huge libraries, Nobel prize educators or excellent organization of curriculum for instance.

Bigger universities are usually very competitive, and the fact that students do not have full attention of the professors compel most students to use all available resources, study more diligently and in the development of their leadership skills. Furthermore, those who prove themselves will be rewarded later when they start looking for attractive careers.

In conclusion, the aforementioned arguments, like good organization and opportunity for personal initiative, clearly outweigh some of the disadvantages of the bigger universities. Needless, to say, people should always follow their own heart and choose whatever they consider to be the right choice.

Dragan, hope you see this as an improvement. Kitosdad.
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[DraganNYC]

Thank you Kitosdad. I know that you mentioned couple of times that you were no in a position to grade essays, but having in mind experience you have in this and knowledge, can you comment on my writing skills?

[Kitosdad]

Dragan, the first thing that struck me about your essay was the frequent absence of the articles, the, a, an. Your writing appears to presume that they are not required. I found that very striking, and very strange for someone who otherwise had a lot of good and valid points to make.

Your essay was certainly not lacking in content and variety of opinion, however it was a bit short and I think 400 words is the target for the higher scorers to aim for. If you have not yet entered this as your final draft, then you could probably find another 100 words or so to beef it out.

Your writing skills are pretty good, and with your active brain I'm sure you can find another 100 word easily. Just open your mind and think of the other benefits attending a big university would bring.

Bigger libraries.
Professional sports coaches.
Top of the field professors.
Interracial integration.
Prestige of going to a famous university.

You meet university students I would imagine. Ask them what is good about their university.

Good luck Dragan. Get back to me if I can be of any further assistance.

Kitosdad.
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[DraganNYC]

Thank you kitosdad for your observations. Expert's opinion helps me a lot to understand where I am at the moment and what I should correct. As a matter of fact some of your remarks I had already in my mind. Absence of articles is a problem for all of us in Slavic world because we just do not have them in our lenguages and it is a bit difficult for us to recognize when we have to use them and when not. Since, articles are among my priorities do you know some good website where I can practice that?
For me it is very important to score good on writing because I need more then 100 points on iBT. I do not have a problem with reading and listening because my score is always between 25 and 29 (never 30 :( ) and now I have to improve writing a speaking. In fact my target, for now, is 25 on writing but I have to prepare myself for even higher scores if I want to be sure to get at least 25.
Concerning essay lenght, I usually have around 370 words. It is not 400 but if you think that 400 would be mean much more I will try to improve. For me problem is timing and I hope that with practice I will have some ideas in my mind which will help me to write more comprehensive essay.
At the moment I am trying to develop typical opening and typical conclusion for my essay (3 or 4 typical sentances which I could use in any essay), and I hope that this will save some of my time for the body of the essay.

Once again, thanks a million.

[Kitosdad]

" At the moment I am trying to develop typical opening and typical conclusion for my essay (3 or 4 typical sentences which I could use in any essay), and I hope that this will save some of my time for the body of the essay."

That seems like a very good idea Dragan, and as you say, a great time-saver. Good luck with that idea.

I only mentioned 400 words as I had seen this point mentioned in other conversations about the exams. I don't wish to apply any further pressure upon you.

Kitosdad.
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.