TOEFL® essay example: Should a factory be built in your community?

[Eisazadeh]

Hi. Please evaluate my essay.

Thank you in advance.
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A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support ro oppose the factory? Explain your position

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No doubt nowadays, the community need to have the factory thereby people could drive away their problems. Of course building a large factory will affect the community and lead to have a lot of advantages and disadvantages. I will try to explain below some of these advantages and disadvantages.
First of all when a factory builds in a community, certainly that will provide a lot of jab careers. For example, 2 years ago in my region it is decided that a clothe factory would build. That time I thought it would damage on our community, because of air pollution and noise pollution caused by factory. After beginning the setting up the factory I saw a lot of people firstly prompted to work as building worker, as a results number of unemployment person decreased, so it is a privilege to our community.
As I said above factory has disadvantages beside to advantages. Air pollution and noise pollution caused by factories always had been as a trouble for communities. For this reason a large numbers of people prefer do not have a factory near their city because waste from factory also will damage to their agriculture. In my opinion, if the factories are managed successfully, it will reduce the troubles mentioned before.
Generally speaking, I would like to express if I have a chance to build a factory near my community definitely I will never give up this opportunity and promptly I would try to build it because I know that there are more advantage than disadvantages.

TOEFL listening discussions: Where does this conversation most likely take place?

[Kitosdad]

There is no doubt that nowadays communities need to have industry and factories, whereby some people can find employment and earn the income required to support their families. Of course building a large factory will obviously affect the community, and lead to having a lot of advantages and disadvantages. I will try to explain below some of these advantages and disadvantages.

First of all, when a company builds a factory within a community,it will initially provide work for a number of unemployed people.

For example, 2 years ago in my region it was decided that a clothing factory would be built. At that time I thought it would do damage to our community because of the air pollution and noise pollution caused by factory.

As building work commenced, I saw a lot of people being employed as building workers and as a result of this activity, the number of unemployed persons decreased, so it was an advantage to our community. But there were also disadvantages in regard to
air pollution and noise pollution caused by the factory. This has been, and always will be, a source of discontent to the community.

For this reason a large number of people prefer not have a factory near their city because waste from the factory will probably do damage to their agriculture.

In my opinion, if the factories are managed successfully, it will reduce the troubles mentioned.

Generally speaking, I would like to state that if I had a chance to build a factory near my community, then I definitely would never refuse the opportunity, and I would promptly go ahead and do so, because I know that there are more advantages than disadvantages.

Eisazadeh, excellent use of basic English. Capital letters, comma's and full stops applied correctly. Consideration must be given to your inexperience in putting your thoughts into words, in English that is.

Having said that I have attempted to do it a little justice.

Kitos.
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Eisazadeh]

thanks, Kitosdad! i am glad to your comment!
thanks very much.

[Olkozian]

Hi, It is Olga
I wrote another essay. I would be glad to hear your comments

Developing a city or a country has always been considered good. Every city has houses, hospitals, factories etc. So a company decided to build a large factory near our community. The advantages of it are: creation of new work places, provision of the community with its own specific products, reduction of time to get to a factory to work.
First advantage of a factory near a community is creation of new work places. If a company extends or a new company is created it needs more people to work for it. So it hires additional personnel. Therefore, more people are working and live well. Unemployment decreases, while employment rates rise. Therefore more people start to consume goods and services. Demand increase and supply also increases. Life of people improves.
Secondly, provision with new products affects economy positively. People – consumers do not need to go to another cities or communities, waste their time on it and spend money on a transport. A person could easily buy the same products at his own place of living. If there is no one thing factory could invent a substitution to it. Therefore, goods become more diversified and reachable, cheaper.
Thirdly, time is economized. If your region has a factory, then you don’t spend time on going to another community and buying goods there. Workers or employees of that factory spend less time to get to job. Therefore employees have more free time to go in for their hobbies.
So from one side factory produces wastes, carbon dioxides. It causes harm to environment, spoils the air people breathe with. So sometimes the consequences of having a factory are bad. On the other hand there are many advantages of such factories. Generally I support the idea of building new factory near our society. Maybe, in future people invent such plants or techniques on the plants so that less pollution will be emitted and there will be less bad effects from factories.

[Kitosdad]

Hello Olga, aside from a few errors, it was pretty good. Well done.

Bill.
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Eisazadeh]

Hi
My essay about sports or library is below. Glad to hear comments from you.
Thanks in advance
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University should give the same amount of money to their student's sports activities as they give their university libraries.
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There is no doubt that libraries is the prominent part of university and high education system and definitely will be enriched with books and equipments that are needed for students. On contrary, students surely need to do exercise for health and also play game for fun. As far as I am concerned, the former point carries more weight. I will try to examine below some specific reason for both views and finally I will state my opinion about this subject.
First of all, the university should spend more money for enriching both qualitatively and quantitatively their libraries because level of a university is recognized by the new books and magazine and journal that they offers for their students. Another reason is that with exponential leaps of information technology in the recent years, equipments like computers and the internet are needed for students while the numbers of students can not afford to buy some these expensive equipments for doing their research and study, university should offer these facilities in the library.
The second point to take into account is that the university is supposed to have an up-date library facility available to get best education which is the principal focus of a university.
In contrast the points mentioned above, spending budget for sport facilities is worthwhile because a lot of research concerning the relationship between physical fitness and mental abilities has shown that those students who have strong body their learning abilities will be more; in the other word they can learn more easy than student is weakness.
Just as the english proverb says, "a coin has two side '' those who take the opposite view are partly reasonable that more activity will increase student's health and good physical condition. But in my opinion, the universities should spend their budget to make rich their libraries. Nevertheless, after satisfying all academic needs, if there is still some money left, they should be invested in sport facilities.

[Kitosdad]

I shall be happy to edit your essay in the morning my friend.At first glance it appears to be pretty good, with only a few errors that you may well find and correct before morning.

Goodnight. Kitos.
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Eisazadeh]

Many thanks for your tip. The essay has reedited.
I look forward to hearing from you as soon as possible.
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There is no doubt that library is the prominent part of university and high education system and definitely will be enriched with books and equipments that are needed for students. On contrary, students surely need to do exercise for health and also play game for fun. As far as I am concerned, the former point carries more weight. I will try to examine below some specific reason for both views and finally I will state my opinion about this subject.
First of all, the university should spend more money for enriching their libraries both qualitatively and quantitatively because level of a university is recognized by the new books and magazine and journal that they offer for their students. Another reason is that with exponential leaps of information technology in the recent years, equipments like computers and the internet are needed for students due to the numbers of students can not afford to buy some these expensive equipments for doing their research and study, university should provide these facilities in the library.
The second point to take into account is that the university is supposed to having an up-date library facility available to get best education which is the principal focus of a university. They would better to encourage their student to concentrate on academic issues.
In contrast the points mentioned above, spending budget for sport facilities is worthwhile because a lot of research concerning the relationship between physical fitness and mental abilities has shown that those students who have strong body their learning abilities will be more; in the other word, they can learn more easy than student is weakness.
Just as the english proverb says, "a coin has two side '' those who take the opposite view are partly reasonable that more activity will increase student's health and good physical condition. But in my opinion, the universities should spend their budget to make rich their libraries. Nevertheless, after satisfying all academic needs, if there is still some money left, they should be invested in sport facilities.

[Kitosdad]

Many thanks for your tip. The essay has reedited.
I look forward to hearing from you as soon as possible.

Sorry for the delay. Kitos.
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There is no doubt that the library is the prominent part of the university and high education system and definitely should be enriched with books and any other equipment that may be needed by students.

On the contrary, students surely need to do exercise for the good of their health, and also should be able to play games for fun.
As far as I am concerned, the former point carries more weight. I will try to examine below some specific reasons for both views, and finally I will state my opinion about this subject.

First of all, the university should spend more money to enrich their libraries both qualitatively and quantitatively because the level of a university is recognized by the new books and magazines and journals that they offer for their students use. Another reason is that with exponential leaps of information technology in the recent years, equipment like computers and the internet are needed for students, due to the numbers of students who cannot afford to buy some of these expensive items for helping to do their research and studies. The university should provide these facilities in the library.

The second point to take into consideration is that the university is supposed to have an up-date library facility available to help students to get the best education possible,which is the principal focus of a university. They would do better to encourage their students to concentrate on academic issues.

In contrast to the points mentioned above, the spending budget for sport facilities is worthwhile, because a lot of research concerning the relationship between physical fitness and mental abilities has shown that those students who have strong bodies have a greater learning ability; in other words, they can learn more easily than students who are weak.

Just as the English proverb says, "a coin has two sides '' those who take the opposite view are partly reasonable that more activity will increase student's health and good physical condition. But in my opinion, the universities should spend their budget to make their libraries rich. Nevertheless, after satisfying all academic needs, if there is still some money left, it should be invested in sport facilities.
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Darkangel12891]

I have doubted if we can both support and contrast our target. I thought we just can choose one to support it only.:D

[Darkangel12891]

Topic:
A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position.

The appearance of a new large factory near my community, of course, will contain lots of advantages as it provides the vast amount of jobs to young people, develops rapidly our community’s modernization and, most importantly, increases the GDP of our residential fund. However, this factory also goes along with its disadvantages. What I am concerned about is that it will pollute strongly our environment and destroy the sense of beauty of our land.

First of all, there are, as happened regularly at many other heavy factories, lots of kind of pollutions, such as air, water and also sound pollution, since they put themselves to be at the aim of saving the fund from not dealing with released poisonous substances. This, consequently, causes numbers of bad impacts on our community’s health. For instance, from releasing polluted water through the rive without treating, this factory directly brings deadly poisons to nearby residents, who use water regularly for daily purposes, that leads to many serious diseases such as cancer, disorderly digestion,etc. Besides, by eliminating much of dusts into the air, this factory is having our community over-suffer from our environment. How can we live if the air is plenty of virus causing diseases?. In addition, one of the most important issues must be concentrate on is noise pollution. It is inevitable that people ,in our area, are suffered the noise sending from the traffic, thus blending the sound of the construction site to the air will directly disturb people as decreasing their work’s efficiency, diminishing our children’s study concentration.. Therefore, they can build up a large factory here whenever all of the equipments, which protect our citizens, must be ensured for both its and our benefits.

Apart from the pollution, building this factory here can destroy the image of our community. I have wondered what our chain of mountains, our river, and our green balmy fields would be if to be replaced by huge machines screaming all day long. What a terrible thing! As the consequence, in order to step up our tourist industry, unless they decide to locate their factory reservedly, we will fiercely struggle for our own rights.

To sum up, we ourselves should not sacrifice our lives just because of a little benefits, since the true achievement is whenever we can combine our benefit with the existence’s guarantee of our later generations.

[Eisazadeh]

Hi, Please check my essay.
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Some people believe that the Earth is being harmed (damaged) by human activity. Others feel that human activity makes the Earth a better place to live. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
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In my opinion, the forest is an important part of the Earth, but it has been always damaged by human throughout his living on the Earth. Albeit, Advancement in science and technology has made human life more comfortable and relaxing, also has provided some amenities that people need, it caused to disappear many forests today. Generally, there are a lot of reasons why advancement in science and technology cause to destroy this prominent part of the Earth.

Firstly, human activity causes many kinds of animals and plants to disappear. Throughout the history, Human always was a major enemy for animals. In order to live without stress or even to make money, lion, tiger, elephant and otter always were hunted by human. As far as I know several kinds of animals are extinct, just few are kept in the zoo. In addition, many kinds of trees are cut off by paper manufactures whereas they are not replaced by young trees.

Secondly, human beings cause pollution to the Earth. Because of human demands for productions, a lot of factories were appeared in the 20th century. The smoke generated by factories and also cars, which contaminates the air, is increasing day by day.

Thirdly, today population on the Earth exacerbate rapidly. So, deforestation has been taking place in order to construct buildings and apartments.

All in all, although deforestation has been observed throughout the history, advancement in technology has more affected to deforestation the 20th century. If this trend continues there is no doubt that the Earth will become a dry planet. In my opinion all governments have to spend more budgets to keep forest as it was several centuries ago.