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Anything wrong with this paragraph?



 
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ESL Forum | English Vocabulary, Grammar and Idioms
Relative clause: Can I put this/that in front of the noun modified by the clause? | Use of 'OF' (I will recount the story of how it happened to my boss.)
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Anything wrong with this paragraph? #1 (permalink) Wed Jun 10, 2009 17:39 pm   Anything wrong with this paragraph?
 

Hello,

What is wrong with the paragraph below?

'Headwards sliding and other ways of sliding that are different from the one shown on the sign are absolutely forbidden. Those who disobey are escorted out of the waterpark immediately due to breaking the safety measures.

Lifeguards manager'

Thanks.
SkiIucK
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Anything wrong with this paragraph? #2 (permalink) Wed Jun 10, 2009 17:58 pm   Anything wrong with this paragraph?
 

I don't know whether there is really something wrong, but I would say 'Head first sliding' instead of 'Headwards sliding'.
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Anything wrong with this paragraph? #3 (permalink) Wed Jun 10, 2009 18:01 pm   Anything wrong with this paragraph?
 

Those who disobey will be escorted out of the water-park immediately, due to the breaking of the safety measures.

Lifeguards manager.
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Anything wrong with this paragraph? #4 (permalink) Wed Jun 10, 2009 18:07 pm   Anything wrong with this paragraph?
 

Thank you both, really.
SkiIucK
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Anything wrong with this paragraph? #5 (permalink) Wed Jun 10, 2009 18:18 pm   Anything wrong with this paragraph?
 

You can also use "for" instead of "due to".
Anny
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Relative clause: Can I put this/that in front of the noun modified by the clause? | Use of 'OF' (I will recount the story of how it happened to my boss.)
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