TOEFL® essay: Has human harmed the Earth or made it a better place?

[Eisazadeh]

Hi, Please evalute my essay.
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Some people believe that the Earth is being harmed (damaged) by human activity. Others feel that human activity makes the Earth a better place to live. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
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In my opinion, the forest is an important part of the Earth, but it has been always damaged by human throughout his living on the Earth. Albeit, Advancement in science and technology has made human life more comfortable and relaxing, also has provided some amenities that people need, it caused to disappear many forests today. Generally, there are a lot of reasons why advancement in science and technology cause to destroy this prominent part of the Earth.

Firstly, human activity causes many kinds of animals and plants to disappear. Throughout the history, Human always was a major enemy for animals. In order to live without stress or even to make money, lion, tiger, elephant and otter always were hunted by human. As far as I know several kinds of animals are extinct, just few are kept in the zoo. In addition, many kinds of trees are cut off by paper manufactures whereas they are not replaced by young trees.

Secondly, human beings cause pollution to the Earth. Because of human demands for productions, a lot of factories were appeared in the 20th century. The smoke generated by factories and also cars, which contaminates the air, is increasing day by day.

Thirdly, today population on the Earth exacerbate rapidly. So, deforestation has been taking place in order to construct buildings and apartments.

All in all, although deforestation has been observed throughout the history, advancement in technology has more affected to deforestation the 20th century. If this trend continues there is no doubt that the Earth will become a dry planet. In my opinion all governments have to spend more budgets to keep forest as it was several centuries ago.

TOEFL listening lectures: A university lecture by a professor of Physics

[Gray]

I would like to add this --

What is needed is an urge to realize that we are merely a species amidst millions for whom there is no life outside this earth. We are given neither the role of the creator nor that of the destroyer. But we are blessed with intelligence to understand ourselves as well as others. So, if we have to survive, we have to adapt.

[For the evaluation part, I am not the right person but I think organizing the essay into parts like what has gone wrong, what is our responsibility and what can be done now would certainly make it better.]
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First lesson - English, not english. I, not i. ~A student of English