Embarrassing but funny situation!

[Iraqi]

A real funny situation I had to face years ago.

I'd like to share it with you for two reasons: 1st, it may put something like this: on your faces....... oooooops, I mean like this: . 2nd, I want you to kindly correct any mistakes I might have committed in the text.

-------------------------------------------
Once upon a time, I planned to go to a football ground near my countryside (in Iraq). [Please don't tell anybody that that ground was not suitable for even bull fighting ].

When I entered a date-palm orchard on my way to the playground, I found several young girls sitting on the opposite side of the water stream which I had to cross. Those girls (who were ‘somehow’ more nice-looking than me) were dropping their legs into the water and enjoying the splendid rural scene.

For some, I should have said (…. More nice-looking than I, not me). I think it is a matter of different “grammatisticsh” viewpoints .

About 99.99 percent of the world population (a percentage which reminds me of our Middle-East elections ) didn’t hear or read a word like “grammatisticsh”, which looks like a blended word (from 10 languages). OOOOOOOOOOps, I have gone too far from my verb.... I mean...subject... sorry folks. Please scrub this paragraph off using a sharp blade.

Back to the subject (please don’t distract me lest you interrupt my “golden” chain of thoughts).

There was a metal pipe put across the two brims of the stream as a small bridge, which I had to manage to get to the other side. I put one of my legs (either the right or the left, I don’t remember; but surely one of them) on that narrow slippery pipe, but could not help the other join her ‘twin sister’. You know why? Because I slipped into the water just in front of the girls with water splashing around, as if a ‘sea-mule’ diving into the water [just take it easy and imagine that there is something somewhere on the globe or under it called 'sea mule'. I tried it and it worked].

Out of my embarrassmentisation (a spelling of an embarrased person), I dived underwater for as long time as my poor lungs could help me. From underwater, I could hear-though my ears were filled with water- their roaring laughter. I wished I had been able to stay underwater for a couple of weeks or so till those spectators would leave the stage.

I was about to asphyxiate (suffocate) when I violently jumped out of the water with flying splashes . The moment I pushed my bashful head out of water (see my photo), I turned to them saying with a panting voice: {as…sa…la…mu…a…lai….kum (peace be upon you- in Arabic)}, to which they replied with nothing but further roaring laughter.

[Gray]

You are so funny (read quirky )

Jokes apart, it was an engaging story
_________________
First lesson - English, not english. I, not i. ~A student of English

[Caroline_1]

Hello Iraqui!
It is a nice story!But you didn't tell us, who took this photo for you?

[Iraqi]

Thanks, Gray and Caroline.

The pic was taken in another place and at a much later time (years and years later). I just referred to it because it fits the context. It was taken by my friend (not by me )

Regards