TOEFL® essay: Which do you prefer, stay in one place or move around

[Blackswallow]

What do I prefer, staying in one place or moving around? It depends on my situation. In the years that I start a job, I would like to move around to see which kind of job and which place are the best for me. But once I found a place as expected, I would like to stay there for a long time to focus on promoting my career and improving my living
When I graduate, I don’t have much experience both in working and living. I have not had any chance to try on anything before, I don’t know what is appropriate for me, so I would like to move around. As I change my job, I get new opportunity to found a good job or an enjoyable place. There are so many interesting and new things out there, if I choose to stay in one place, how could I know what I really love
But when I get older, I prefer to stay in one place. Now that I found what I want, I will focus on improve and promote it. Every time I change my job, move to new place, it takes me a lot of time to get familiar with it. I have to make new friendship, rend a new house, learn how to live in new place. Since I found a job I really want, I should spend time on working to advance it. And when living in a place I chose, I would spend time discovering it.
Staying in one place will give you a stable life, but moving around will bring you a lot of fun. There are so many way to live your life, and each people has their our ways to do it. But always remember considering it carefully before you choose a job, or decide to leave out everything to move to a new place

[Blackswallow]

I 've tryed so bad to finish this easy within 30 minutes. Then now when I read it again, it is too bad, so many mistake. But could you please say something about the idea, the way I write it. That would be appreciate. Thanks in advance

[Nicooo]

Well, my suggestion is to buy the book "Barron's Writing for the TOEFL". They have a lot of exercises and practices. More than a hundred examples for essays and plenty of topics to write about. They additionally explain the 4 different kinds of essays and the conceptional method to develop a good essay. Writing, writing, writing is of course the most important part. You are in good hands here, there are a few very kind people correcting your essays and giving good suggestions to improve them.

Just give it a little time!

[Kitosdad]

Hello Blackswallow. I shouldn't be too critical of what you have written. That was a nice sensible essay, displaying logic and forethought.

As Nicoo says, give it a little time and don't be so hard on yourself.

Having said that, Nicoo worked like a little beaver getting himself prepared for his exam, didn't you Nic?

Kitos.
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If you need me, I'm here.

[Blackswallow]

Thank you so much Kitosdad ,for correcting my errors. That did help me a lot since from the errors that you pointed out for me, i try to focus more on detail and more careful when I write. I just have 30', so it is better that I do not make that kind of error
@ Nicoo: Thanks for the suggestion. I did have a Barron's book and also take a look on it, it did help me a lot in identifying the task. But I am kind of spontaneous people so sometimes I just want to write out what I am thinking, then it is not very organized. I am trying to get over it. Thanks again

[Kitosdad]

"But I am kind of a spontaneous person."

These are the kind of people who write the very best, most interesting essays in my opinion.

Let your imagination have it's head, and control the order of your thoughts. Better to run out of time than run out of ideas.

Kitos.
_________________
If you need me, I'm here.