TOEFL® essay: Does grade encourge studens to study?

[Blackswallow]

Again I tried this within 30'. I hope it is not too bad. Thanks for giving me any idea

Does grade encourage students to learn? Some people thinks somebody’s grade just gives us an evaluation of that one, it has nothing to do with encourging that people in learning. But to me, my grade does effect my attemp in learning. A good grade will be a motivation for me to try more, a bad mark will remind me that I should work harder.

In my opinion, a good mark is a big reward, a huge compliment for what I’ve done. It proves that what I’ve done is right, and I should continue to do it. A good mark demonstrates that I am capable of doing a good work, it is a illustration for my hard working time . It brings me the respect from the other people and makes me feel so good. That is why it is a motivation for me to keep trying more and more.

But do you think that a bad mark will make me feel disappointed and want to give up everything. The answer is no, definitely no. A bad mark reminds me that I am did not try hard enough, or shows me that I am distracted by something else. Accordingly, to some degree, it helps me realize what I am doing wrong to correct it. That’s why getting a bad mark help me focus on studying harder to get a better mark.

Grading your work just a way to show you and other people the result of what you do. The most important thing is that you should look at the optimistic side of it. If you work hard, it should be something that you can proud of, but if you do not, it should be a reminder for you to concentrate better. When you think this way, you will find the usefulness of grading somebody’s work.

[Kitosdad]

Does grad(ing) encourage students to learn? Some people think somebody’s grade just gives us an evaluation of that one, it has nothing to do with encour(a)ging people in learning. But to me, my grade does effect my attemp(t) (to learn) A good grade will be a motivation for me to try more, a bad mark will remind me that I should work harder.

In my opinion, a good mark is a big reward, a huge compliment for what I’ve done. It proves that what I’ve done is right, and I should continue to do it.

A good mark demonstrates that I am capable of doing good work, it is a(n) illustration for (my working hard). It brings me the respect from other people, and makes me feel so good. That is why it is a motivation for me to keep trying more and more.

But do you think that a bad mark will make me feel disappointed and want to give up everything.(?) The answer is no, definitely no. A bad mark reminds me that I am not try(ing) hard enough, or shows me that I am (being)distracted by something else. Accordingly, to some degree, it helps me realize what I am doing (is)wrong (and that I should seek )to correct it. That’s why getting a bad mark help(s) me focus on studying harder to get a better mark.

Grading your work (is) just a way to show you and other people the result of what you do. The most important thing is that you should look at the optimistic side of it. If you work hard, it should be something that you can proud of, but if you do not, it should be a reminder for you to concentrate better. When you think this way, you will find the usefulness of grading somebody’s work.

BS, a nice essay. I don't think you have too much to worry about if you keep turning such good work out.

Kitos.
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[Blackswallow]

Thanks so much. I'll try