TOEFL® essay example: Why people live longer?

[Blackswallow]

Why people live longer ? As the industrializational evolution occurs in everywhere, people’s living condition is improved considerably. The development of tecnology in science and discovering of vacin help people cured from deseases. There are much more hosipital and better heath care service. These are the answer for a that question

Fistly, nowaday, people are having a better life. We live in a house with air-condition and other good facility so we can stay in comfortable everytime. We do not only have enough food but event much better we can choose the food we want. We have cars to travel and plane to go to other place much easilier. And the most impressive thing is that we have so many recreation programe to entertain ourself.

Secondly, the promotion in technology brings out great chance of staying alive for someone who has serious desease. Moreover, now we have vacin to prevent deseases, asprin to cure ill people. A healthy people also has chance to take the advantages of high technology to become healthier

Lasly, we have better health care service. There are more and more hospital available everywhere. Ill peple can get help anytime they want and as quickly as they need.

Some people thinks that today people has to suffer the pollution in environtment so the our health becomes worse. But they can not deny the truth that people now are having a longer life in comparison with it is in the past because we are having a higher living condition, tenological development and so much more available healthcare service

[Joao Fonseca]

The most important and simple reply to this question is. good habit, do all you can to be in good shape, i.e, walking, running, any kind of physical activity and love as much as you can.
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Joao Mª H. Fonseca
Your last mistake is your best teacher.

[Blackswallow]

Why (does) people live longer ? As the industrialization evolution occurs in everywhere, people’s living condition is improved considerably. The development of tec(h)nology in science and discovering of vaccin(e) help people cured from disease. There are much more hospital and better heath care service. These are the answer for a that question

Fis(r)tly, nowaday(s), people (is) having a better life. We live in house having air-condition and other good facility so we can stay in comfortable every time. We do not only have enough food but even much better we can choose the food we want. We have cars to travel and plane to go to other place much more easily. And the most impressive thing is that we have so many recreation program to entertain ourself.

Secondly, the promotion in technology brings out great chance of staying alive for someone who has serious disease. Moreover, now we have vaccine to prevent disease, (medicine) to cure ill people. A healthy people also has chance to take the advantages of high technology to become healthier

Lastly, we have better health care service. There are more and more hospital available everywhere. Ill people can get help anytime they want and as quickly as they need.

Some people thinks that today people has to suffer the pollution in environment so the our health becomes worse. But they can not deny the truth that people now are having a longer life in comparison with it is in the past because we are having a higher living condition, technological development and so much more available health care service
Having tried my best to correct my error. please help me on this if possible. Thank u so much

[Kitosdad]

Why (do) people live longer ? As the industrialization evolution occurs everywhere, people’s living condition(s) (are)improved considerably. The development of tec(h)nology in science and(the)discover(y) of vaccin(es) help(ed) cure people of disease(s).
There are (many) more hospital(s) and better heath care service(s). These are the answer (to) that question.

Firstly, nowaday(s), people (are) having a better life. We live in house(s) (that have) air-condition(ing) and other good facilit(ies), so we can (live) in comfort every time.
We do not only have enough food, but even much better, we can choose the food we want. We have cars to travel and plane(s) to go to other place(s) much more easily. And the most impressive thing is that we have so many recreation(al) program(mes) to entertain oursel(ves).

Secondly, the pro(gress) in technology brings (ab)out great(er) chance(s) of staying alive for someone who has (a) serious disease. Moreover, now (that) we have vaccine to prevent disease(s) and, (medicines) to cure ill people.
A healthy pe(rson) also has chance to take advantage of high technology to become healthier.

Lastly, we have better health care service(s). There are more and more hospital(s) available everywhere. Ill people can get help anytime they want, and as quickly as they need.

Some people thinks that today people ha(ve) to suffer the pollution in (the)environment so the(n) our health becomes worse. But they cannot deny the truth that people now are (living)a longer life in comparison (to) the past, because we are having a higher living condition(s), technological development(s) and so m(any) more available health care service(s).

Keep at it BS. You're getting there.

Please also be aware that "is" indicates Singular, whilst "are" indicates Plural.

Kitos.
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If you need me, I'm here.

[Darkangel12891]

Hi, kitos. I want to appologize for my unstableness,and i recognize that facing up this is totally inneed.^^. Have a nice day all people.

The people's life expectancy has increased gradually. There are several points to make this issue. However, I think that the main causes of why people are living longer are due to the better of living condition and people's conception nowadays.

At a first glance, with the development of technology, people's life seems to be better than in the past. For instance, hospitals with modern equipments such as x-ray machine, surgery tools, etc have assured more and more the health of their patient. Besides, food industry are now becoming automatic, and thus people can satisfy with these food's qualities since these automatic works have to obey many strict rules to protect the customers and also the company's brand. Most importantly, we cannot deny the fact that the appearance of vaccine helps people, especially children, apart from various diseases leading to much bad impacts on them lately.

Secondly, when people are getting older, these elder people extremely need the care of their sons and daughters. Children, nowadays in school and other sorts of communication, are well-educated to look after their parents when being older. While in the past, these children when being mature tend to leave their parents for "old people house”, regularly gave money to them in order to fulfill their duty. Therefore, building up the awareness of children has made elder people enjoy the rest of their life with happiness and satisfaction.

To sum up, I would say again that people's life expectation have improved significantly by these two foresaid reasons. However, the government must order some strict rules to control the environment pollution so that people will indeed enjoy their life in fresh environment.