TOEFL® essay: Should study history, literature or math and science?

[Blackswallow]

It is more important for children to study history and literature than it is for them to study maths and science ? In my opinion, it is just wasting of time wondering which is more necessary. Because people need a general knowledge of these area to form our soul. We, people also need to develop all these field to make our lives become better spiritually and physically.

Knowledge of literature, history, maths and science is very important for all of us. To a children, they definitely need to learn how to calculate, which they are taught in maths class; they need to know about things around them like how trees are raised, which they can be taught in science class; they also need to know something about their country, which they can learn in history class; they need to be inspired by a poem or literary work, which they can learn from a literature class. From these knowledge, they can think logically and also establish humanity by their own.

We need all of these field to comfort our lives.Without any field among literature, history, science and maths, people lives would become miserable . Without science, we can not now about our body, how to cure ourselves of disease. Without math, we can not estimate how much material we need to build a house, how many animal we have, we can not do anything. Let’s imagine how terrible your life would be without literature. There is no poem, there is no song, there is nothing to entertain ourselves after a whole long day working. Without history, you do not know anything about your country, what happened in the past

I love study math and science. It brings me a lot of interesting knowledge that sounds like I could never get enough. But some basic knowledge of history will cultivate my mind and a poem can refresh my self. That is why I think it is very important that we learn all of them.

Well, this is really a very hard question. I almost run out of idea when I write this essay. Any one want to share your idea? Thanks in advance

[Kitosdad]

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(A) knowledge of literature, history, maths and science is very important for all of us.
Children definitely need to learn how to calculate, which they are taught in maths class; they need to know about things around them, like how trees are raised, which they can be taught in science class; they also need to know something about their country, which they can learn in history class; they need to be inspired by a poem or literary work, which they can learn from a literature class.

From these (teachings), they (learn to) think logically and establish (a) humanity (of) their own.

We need (to experience) all of these field(s) to comfort our lives.Without any (appreciation of) literature, history, science and maths, people lives would become miserable .

Without science, we (cannot) (k)now about our bod(ies), how to cure ourselves of disease(s).
Without (mathematics), we (cannot) estimate how much material we (will) need to build a house, how many animal(s) we have, we (cannot) do anything.

Let’s imagine how terrible your life would be without literature. There (would be) no poem(s), there (would be) no song(s), there (would be) nothing to entertain ourselves after a whole long day working. Without history, (you would'nt) know anything about your country, (and) what (has) happened in the past

I love (to) study (mathematics) and science. It brings me a lot of interesting knowledge that (feels) like I could never get enough. But (with)some basic knowledge of history (I) will cultivate my mind, and a poem can refresh (myself).
That is why I think it is very important that we learn all of (these subjects.)

Well, this (was) really a very hard question. I almost (ran) out of idea(s) when I wr(o)te this essay. (Anyone) want to share your idea(s)? Thanks in advance.
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[Kitosdad]

Good essay BS, but spoiled by the simplest of errors.

Kitos.
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[Blackswallow]

OOPS, so many mistakes, but I learned something from it. Thank you, kitos

[Kitosdad]

As ever BS, you are welcome.
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