TOEFL® essay: Do you think that playing game teaches us about life?

[Blackswallow]

Do you believe that playing game teaches us about life ? I do believe it. When you involve in a game, you will learn how to be patient, self-disciplined to be a winer; you also learn how to get over it when you lose; and the most useful skill you will learn from it: teamwork skill.

First, when you play a game, usually at the beginning you are not good at it, and you loose very often. As you play that game regularly, you will try more and more to win that game. The more you want to be the winner, the more time you spend on practice it. The longer time you try, the better you get. You will find out that you have spend time to progress your self to get what you want, not only in a game, but also in your life.

Second, when you play a game, you have to experience loosing at least once time in your life. Then you have to learn how to get over it to try more. This will help in your real life because in that big game, definitely you will have to loose more than once time.
Last, when you playing game, like in a football match, you have to learn how to work well with other member of your team. You do not only learn how make the others understand your idea, also learn how to listen to the others’ idea. Otherwise, your team will loose that game. From what you learn in how to deal with your team member in the football team, you have a good teamwork skill.

Somebody think that “living your life is just like playing a game”. I do not totally agree with this point of view because in a game you can quite and reset that game whenever you want, which you can not do with your life. But to some degree, playing game does have some good effect to our lives: playing game help us become patient; optimistic and work better in a group.

Please give me any comment on this. Thank you so much

[Kitosdad]

Do you believe that playing game(s) teaches us about life ? I believe it.

When you (are) involve(d) in a game, you will learn how to be patient, self-disciplined, and to be(come) a win(n)er.
You also learn how to get over it when you lose; and the most useful skill (that)you will learn from it (is) teamwork.

First, when you play a game, usually at the beginning, you are not good at it, and you (will lose) very often. As you play that game regularly, you will try more and more to win that game. The more you want to be the winner, the more time you (will)spend practic(ing) it. The longer you try, the better you (become).

You will find out that you have (to) spend time to progress (yourself) to get what you want, not only in a game, but also in your life.

Second, when you play a game, you have to experience (losing) at least (one) time in your life. Then you have to learn how to get over it to try (again). This will help in your real life because in that big game, definitely you will have to (lose) more than (one) time.

Last, when you (are) playing (a)game, like in a football match, you have to learn how to work well with (the) other member(s) of your team. You do not only learn how (to) make the others understand your idea, (but you) also learn how to listen to the others’ idea.

Otherwise, your team will (lose) that game. From what you learn in how to deal with your team member(s) in the football team, you (create/establish) a good (sense of) teamwork .

Some (people) think that “living your life is just like playing a game”. I do not totally agree with this point of view because in a game you can (quit) and reset that game whenever you want, which you (cannot) do (in) your life.
But to some degree, playing game(s) does have some good effect (on) our lives (because) playing game(s) help us become patient; optimistic and (to learn to) work better in a group.

You're getting there BS ... you're getting there!
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