Letter: Business partnership. Dear Sir, Concerning developing our partnership...

[Henrivoador]

Hi guys!!!

I need your help. Could you do me favor about take a look on the following composition? s there is any mistake with gramar or some expression unusual? I'm not a very good writer, thanks.

Subject: Business partnership.
Dear Sir,
Concerning developing our partnership chain I am writing to introduce ourselves as a countrywide group established in Brazil providing photocopier supplies since 2003.
Our company offers original and compatible products for Sharp, Ricoh, Canon, Toshiba, Minolta, Xerox and Riso. The products best sellers in our market are toners, developers, rollers, drums, blades, lamps and accessories.
I would be grateful to get more information about your products portfolio, price list, sales policy and if The Chion Corporation has interest about selling to Brazil.
I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely,
Valde (Mr.)
Partner Relationship Manager

Nutak Company
Phone: +55
Fax: +55 51
E-mail:nutak@cpovo.net

[Lance]

If you know the name of the person to whom you are writing, it should be "Dear Mr. Whatwhat" instead of "Dear sir". Your name should be in the form "Mr. Given Family". In general, you have no serious mistakes. I would polish it a bit like this:

Dear Sir,
I represent Nutak Company, a nationwide group established in Brazil providing photocopier supplies since 2003. Our company offers original and compatible products for Sharp, Ricoh, Canon, Toshiba, Minolta, Xerox and Riso. Among our more popular products are toners, developers, rollers, drums, blades, lamps and accessories. A marketing partnership between our firms would likely provide many opportunities for mutual growth.

I would be grateful to get more information about your product portfolio, price list, and sales policy. I sincerely hope Chion Corporation can benefit from Nutak Company's strong marketing expertise in Brazil.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely,
Valde (Mr.)
Partner Relationship Manager

Nutak Company
Phone: +55
Fax: +55 51
E-mail:nutak@cpovo.net

[Henrivoador]

Ow! thank you very much! Much more polite and warmer, thats the point. Thanks again.