Letter: Dear Gopal, I received your letter 0n 27-07-09 Thank you very much for...

[Ganesh]

Please correct the following letter if there is any mistake

Dear Gopal

I received your letter 0n 27-07-09 Thank you very much for going to the office and spoke to the officer regarding to my important matter I rang to the Chava Office and find out the head office sending a letter regarding my Job, so I can advice you to go to Chava after receiving that letter I will ring you when I am free

Yours Sincerley
Ganesh

[MariaEbb]

I can't do it. I am not a native. It's very unusual that anyone gets an answer in this forum.
/Maria

[Rojkumari]

Hi Ganesh.
I feel that I can correct the sentence.

Dear Gopal.
I received your letter on July 27th 2009.Thanks you very much for all your help.
I called up the Chava office and came to know about my job confirmation letter.
I would like you to go to Chava once I get the letter.
I will talk to you when I am free.

Your sincerely.

[MariaEbb]

You changed almost everything she wrote. I got an essay corrected by an native once and he did the same. I couldn't find out what sort of errors I had made. I hadn't forgotten plural S and I hadn't forgotten to use the right verbform. My English teacher corrected an essay for me at school once.

When I had finished school and attended an English course I gave that essay to my native teacher and she found many errors but she didn't change the whole essay.

/Maria

[Edz]

If you don't want to revise the message.I could help a little.

Dear Gopal,

I received your letter 0n 27-July-09. Thank you very much for going to the office in my behalf and spoke to the officer in-charge regarding my important matter. I rang the Chava Office and found out that the head office sent a letter regarding my Job. So, I advice you to go to Chava after receiving that letter. I will give you a ring when I am free.

Yours Sincerely,
Ganesh

[Icykhool]

Ganesh,
Good attempt. Here are my suggestions.

Dear Gopal (If you know Goal very well, you can say just “Gopal”)
I received your letter on 27th July. Thank you very much for your help (you can add few more words to appreciate his help). I checked with Chava Office and found out that the head office is planning to send the letter regarding my Job within a couple of days (if you are sure they have already mailed it, then you can say: found out that the head office have mailed me the letter yesterday….). I need one more favor from you.( You are asking Gopal to help you one more time, so be polite. Advice is not good fit for this situation) Please, check with “Chava” when I/you will receive that letter. I will call you after your office time or at the end of the day whenever I get a chance.(not “ring”, “ring” is very casual word, generally people use it while talking. Make sure while writing that you are considering Gopal’s schedule as well. If you say that you will call in your free time, it sounds rude to me)
Yours Sincerely
Ganesh