TOEFL® essay: What are the qualities of a good neighbor?

[Blackswallow]

In Vietnam, it is believed that: a good neighbor is better than a relative living far from you. Neighborhood is considered one of the most important relationship. Then I come up with the question: Which are the qualities of a good neighbor? In my opinion, a good neighbor must respect your privacy and ready to help you when it is necessary.

Neighbors are the people who live near your houses, definitely there will be one or more time you need their help. If you go away for a short time, like in one day, and it takes your cousin almost haft of a day to come to your house, your neighbors must be the first one you think of when you need someone to look after your house and your children. A good neighbor must be someone ready to spend time looking after your house. If you have a rob at the midnight, who will be the first one you call to help you? The answer is your neighbors, because they will appear after few minutes, whereas it may takes police a quarter to get to your house. A good neighbor will not mind waking up at night to catch your rob. If you have an accident right in your house, who should you call first. My suggestion would be your neighbors. A good neighbor would leave everything behind to take you to the hospital as soon as possible. Being ready to help you everytime you need is the most important quality of a good neighbor

Your neighbors live near your house, accordingly they would be the people who you see almost the time. What if they always try to eavesdrop what happens in your house? What if they try to interfere on you plan to do with your family. That would be very unpleasant. Not only being ready to help when you need, a good neighbor also must respect your privacy.

When you have a good job, you will earn a lot of money. When you have a good house, you will feel happy. And when you have a good neighbor, you will feel like you have one more brother/sister. Because a good neighbor will be the first one you can call when you need help, buy still leave you a private space enough to feel comfortable
Please give me some comment me on this. Thank you so much

[Kitosdad]

Neighbo(u)rs are the people who live near your house.
Definitely there will be one or more time(s) (when) you(will) need their help.
If you go away for a short time, like (for a) day, and it takes your cousin almost ha(lf) of a day to come to your house, your neighbo(u)rs must be the first one you think of when you need someone to look after your house and your children.

A good neighbo(u)r must be someone (who is) ready to spend time looking after your house.

If you (are being robbed at) midnight, who will be the first one you call to help you? The answer is, your neighbours, because they will appear after a few minutes, whereas it may take (the) police a (lot longer) to get to your house.

A good neighbo(u)r will not mind (you) waking (them) up at night to (help you)catch your rob(ber).
If you have an accident in your house, who should you call first(?)
My suggestion would be your neighbo(u)rs. A good neighbo(u)r would leave everything behind to take you to the hospital as soon as possible.
Being ready to help you every time you need (help) is the most important quality of a good neighbo(u)r.

Your neighbours live near your house, accordingly they would be the people who you see (most of the time).

What if they always try to eavesdrop (on)what (is happening) in your house?

What if they try to interfere on (what) you plan to do with your family. That would be very unpleasant. Not only being ready to help when you need, a good neighbour also must respect your privacy.

When you have a good job, you will earn a lot of money. When you have a good house, you will feel happy. And when you have good neighbour(s), you will feel like you have one more brother/sister,(b)ecause a good neighbour will be the first one you can call when you need help, bu(t) still leave you a private space enough to feel comfortable

BS, you are trying too hard. You are making it so difficult for yourself. You are capable of doing far better work than this. This isn't bad, but it is feeble compared to your earlier essays.
Spend a little longer thinking about what you are going to say before hitting the keyboard.

Kitos.
_________________
Keep it simple. Keep it interesting.

[Blackswallow]

Hi, Kitos,
I still remember what you said to me at my early essays. It is better running out of time than running out of idea. You were right. When I run out of time (which I always do :-) ) the work out is still good, but when I run out of idea, definitely the work out will be not good as expected.
This essay is kind of a tough question to me, then I should spend more time thinking about it. But I will try more on hard questions like this. I think it will be better next time (hope that).
Thank you so much

[Kitosdad]

Good morning Blackswallow. I recognise the effort that you put into your work, and I admire you greatly for it.
The qualities of good neighbours. A subject that can be made in to a little story with a little forethought.

When I was a young man and newly-married, my wife and I were so very fortunate to have for neighbours Fred and Ella.
They were considerably older than my wife and I,but they were such wonderful people.

From the very first day of our meeting they were like an older brother and sister to us and our small girl.

Each morning Ella would ask my wife if she could fetch any shopping from the local shop to save my wife having to go herself.
She was delighted to take care of our little girl whilst my wife did the usual housework, and when the work was finished she'd gladly accompany my wife on a walk around the local park with the baby. There they would sit and just laugh and talk, and my wife learnt many things from Ella.

Fred was my mentor. Although a very simple man, he knew a little about everything.
Cars, house repairs, gardening. If I had a problem, then Fred had an answer to it.

This couple were everything the phrase "a good neighbour" symbolised.
Ever-ready to help, both physically and orally. Never intrusive or inquisitive. Just there in the background, but ever-ready to spring forward with help and advice.

Sadly Ella died quite suddenly, and Fred died shortly after.
The doctor said he had died from a broken heart. They were inseperable as a couple, and a Godsend as neighbours.

That was fifty years ago, and I still remember their many acts of kindness to this very day.

There you go BS. Fifteen minutes of imagination. Did Ella and Fred really exist? NO!

Make it interesting. Keep it brief.

Kitos.
_________________
Keep it simple. Keep it interesting.

[Blackswallow]

Ok, I got your point now. Event I do not have so many idea, it is better that I still keep it brief and interesting rather than try to extend the paragraph then make it unclear and boring :-). Also I should learn to make up something when I run out of idea.

[Blackswallow]

It is kind of hard when I try to make up something. It is a part of me that I want to tell about what I have been experienced. And when I read your story I believed that it was a real things in your life until I searched to the bottom line :-). I am kind of preferring to keep telling what I am thinking :-). Just because this is me, and writing will be a tool for me to express what is on my mind. But I will try to write some story( like you did) when I have time, it is also a way strongly illustrating our opinion
Thank so much

[Kitosdad]

BS, you have to remember that every story-teller is only telling lies.(Making it all up.)

Real-life is usually terribly boring, even if you are very rich. Routine sets-in in everyone's life, and a good imagination is a necessary requirement to get through it.

Some turn to drugs, some to drink, some to dreams, and some to lies.

I don't drink, do drugs, and rarely dream, so guess what that makes me. :) :)

Kitos.
_________________
Keep it simple. Keep it interesting.

[Blackswallow]

It is quite strange that I have never spent time wondering if my life is boring. It is full of succeeding also falling, accumilated by happiness also sadness. But borring? Do not know yet. But as long as I live it, I try to drive it my way.

Rememeber when I was in primary school, I was really good at writing. Teachers in my school love so much every little writing of mine. :-). I even achieved some national reward on writing But when I reached to secondary school. I was not good at it any more. The reason was that at primary school, the topic of the essay always be something like "Writting about your mother" or "writing about your friend " where I could write down whatever I think, express every emotion and feeling that I had. But it was different in secondary school when the question would more likely be "Analysing a character in a poem" or even I have to prase something that I hated. That was something called disappointment depression that I have to learn to deal with...

Back to who I am at the moment. I am different now. I learned that doing something you do not like is a part of life. I can praise something that I hate, write something following requirememt. But from the bottom of mine, still be who I was many years ago, still want to do it my own way :-)

How about you when you were at the same age to me ? Wondering which will I turn to be when I am at your age :-).
That was very nice taking with you about this.
Good bye. Have a nice day.

[Kitosdad]

"How about you when you were at the same age to me?"

BS, when I was your age, like all young men, my thoughts revolved around girls, football and fishing.

Nowadays it is all about my dogs, how many cigarettes I have, and what will the weather be like tomorrow. :) :)

I used to be bored, but not so much nowadays, as I have now found some new friends here in the Forum, and writing little articles and editing essays for the Forum members takes up what little spare time I do have.

Kitos.
_________________
Keep it simple. Keep it interesting.

[Hema Bernard]

Hi Mr.Kitos,

Kindly edit this and your comments please - Thanks Hema

Neighbours are who stays next to our house. Being a neighbour we should be in good terms with our neighbours. We should be the first to help our neighbours when they are in trouble. Spend some time with neighbours by going for a walk together / supermarkets or chit chat with them by sipping coffee.

We should attend them immediately when we realize that there is some issue and they need our hand. In case any medical emergency take them to a doctor or call the ambulance and we should stand by them till they are back to normal.

Other issues like robbery, fire accident etc, we should apply our presence of mind to save them from these issues by calling Police in case of robbery and call the fire force in case of fire accident, before they arrive we should try to do our best to put off the fire.

When I was young I remember our neighbours used to help us. My parents used to work and they had no time to take care of me, so our neighbours used to cook for us. Buy snacks for me, whenever they used buy for their kids. Once my Mother was hospitalized our neighbours looked after me till my mother was back home. In the same way my parents used to help them.

Now I have a neighbour whose name is Mrs. Shanti. She will always come to help me before I could ask her for. She will take care of my daughter when I am doing a household work. She will feed my daughter and make her to sleep. Some times she’ll give her shower.

Every evening she will go for walking, so everyday she makes a point to check with me if I need any stuffs from the market.

She will take care of our house whenever we are on for vacations. She will take care of my doggy too

But she’ll never expect anything from her. My husband and I will always make sure that we help her whenever she needs any help.

[Kitosdad]

Good morning Hema. Mrs. Shanti certainly appears to be an excellent neighbour for you to have. I'm happy for you.

Your essay outlines perfectly the essential qualities of a good neighbour.

Although your essay is riddled with small grammatical errors I have no intention of correcting it. It is charming.

Kitos.
_________________
Keep it simple. Keep it interesting.

[Hema Bernard]

Thanks A Ton Mr.Kitos,

I would like to rectify my errors, will you please edit it

Thanks Once again
Hema

[Kitosdad]

'Course I will. Anything for my little friend. :) :)
_________________
Keep it simple. Keep it interesting.

[Kitosdad]

[quote="Hema Bernard"]Hi Mr.Kitos,

Kindly edit this and your comments please - Thanks Hema

Neighbours are (those people whose house in next to ours.).

Being a neighbour we should be (on) good terms with our neighbours.
We should be the first to help our neighbours when they are in trouble, (and) we should spend some time with (our) neighbours by going for a walk together (to) supermarkets or chit chat with them (whilst) sipping coffee.

We should (help) them immediately when we realize that there is some issue and they need our (assistance).
In (the) case (of) any medical emergency (we could) take them to a doctor or call the ambulance and we should stand by them till they are back to normal.

(Regarding) other issues like robbery, fire accident(s) etc, we should apply our presence of mind to save them from these issues by calling (the) Police in case of robbery, and call the fire (brigade) in case of (a) fire . (B)efore they arrive we should try to do our best to put (out) the fire.

When I was young I remember our neighbours used to help us. My parents used to work and they had no time to take care of me, so our neighbours used to cook for us. (They would)buy snacks for me, whenever they used buy for their kids. Once my Mother was hospitalized our neighbours looked after me till my mother was back home.
In the same way my parents used to help them.

Now I have a neighbour whose name is Mrs. Shanti. She will always come to help me (without my asking.). She will take care of my daughter when I am doing household work. She will feed my daughter and (put) her to sleep. Some times she’ll give her (a) shower.

Every evening she will go (out) walking, so everyday she makes a point to check with me if I need any (things) from the market.

She will take care of our house whenever we are on vacations. She will take care of my doggy too.

But she’ll never expect anything (for her help). My husband and I will always make sure that we help her whenever she needs any help.

Kitos. Nice tidy essay Hema. You are constantly improving.
_________________
Keep it simple. Keep it interesting.

[Hema Bernard]

Thanks a lot Mr.Kitos