What do you think of my first essay of TOEFL®?

[Mono]

It has been said, “Not everithing that learned is contained in books.”
Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why?

Below is my essay. This is a first attempt to write an essay in English in my entire life :shock:
In fact, It took an hour!
I haven't used a dictionary, so there would be a lot of mistakes...and I somehow feel my essay is off the track. What do you think?

Although I agree that knowledge from experience is useful because it is applied to our real world instantly, I believe that knowledge from books is more impotant. Reading books enables us to get knowledge which is cheaper, faster, and more profound.

First of all, if you want to know about a country's culture by firsthand, you'll need more money than reading a book about the culture.
You may want to fly to the country, try their traditional food, talk with the nation's people, but it costs too much.
You can get those information for free by borrowing your community's library's books or browsing the Internet. Buying some books is still cheaper compared with the fee of the trip.

Second, books can tell you exactly what you want to know when you have a question. When you want to cook a meal that is unfamiliar with you, you can cook it simply by flipping a page of a book and reading a recipe.
If you want to always be taught how to cook, it will take too much time.

Third, books can enrich your knowledge more profoundly. There are numorous things you can't get just by experiencing, such as mathematics, history, and cognition of abstract conception. Significant amount of knowledge of broad realm will welcome you by opening books.
There may be an objection like reading books isn't enough for us to learn about emotional things, yet I'd like to say reading great literature can teach us those kinds of things. You will be amazed at how our fuzzy emotion could possibly put into words.

Trying to get knowledge from experience is helpful if we have much money and time, but usually we don't, and knowledge that can't be aquired by experiencing also exists. Thus, I think reading books is the best way we can get knowledge efficiently.

TOEFL listening lectures: What does the professor imply about Leonardo da Vinci?

[Gray]

Although I agree that knowledge from experience is useful because it applies to our real world instantly, I believe that knowledge gained from books is more impotant. Reading books enables us to get knowledge which is cheaper, faster, and more profound.

First of all, if you want to know about a country's culture by firsthand, you'll need more money than reading a book about the culture.
You have to fly to that country, try their traditional food, talk with the people there, but it costs too much.
You can get that information for free by going through the books or browsing the Internet. Buying some books is still cheaper compared with the fee of the trip.

Second, books can tell you exactly what you want to know when you have a question. When you want to cook a meal and you don't know the recipe, you can cook it simply by flipping a page of a book and reading a recipe.
If you want to always be taught how to cook, it will take too much time.

Third, books can enrich your knowledge more profoundly. There are numorous things you can't get just by experiencing such as mathematics, history, and cognition of abstract concepts. Significant amount of knowledge of broad realm will welcome you through books.

There are objections like reading books isn't enough for us to learn about emotional things, yet I'd like to say reading great literature can teach us those kind of things. You will be amazed at how our fuzzy emotion could possibly put into words.

Trying to get knowledge from experience is helpful if we have much money and time, but usually we don't, and there are many things that can't be aquired by experience. Thus, I think reading books is the best way to get knowledge efficiently.

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You argued in favour of books very well. But it sounded a little bit extreme.
A balanced argument, for sure, wins more hearts :)
_________________
First lesson - English, not english. I, not i. ~A student of English

[Mono]

Thank you very much, Gray! I agree that my opinion is very partial and seems very emotional.
I realized I need to ponder carefully before writing.
Also, thanks for proofing my gramatical errors! Since I am study alone, it means a lot.
I'll rewrite this essay! Thank you! :D