TOEFL® essay: Children learn best by observing behavior of adults and copying it

[Mango_Yogurt]

Hi everybody, I'm a very new member. I am trying to work on my essay. Here is my first essay with the topic "Children learn best by observing behavior of adults and copying it. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?". I hope to get some commends and corrections from someone here. Thanks and appreciated your help.

It is often said that parents are the first teacher of a child. Although parents neither teach their children things directly nor teach by design and children don’t always learn when their parents intend to teach them, they themselves have started to learn from their parents while they are doing things by watching and imitating. Therefore, many people think that the way children get knowledge by observing behavior of adults and copying it is the best one. For me, this statement is partly right for some reasons.

If you are a parent of a child or who has many opportunities to be involved with children, it will be easy for you to understand that children can learn quickly by observing behavior of adults and copying it. Spending a lot of time to take care of my nephew who is under the age of 3 that helps me to have more experiences in this field. When my nephew was a little boy without saying any words and one of his favorite hobbies is eating Popsicle and I know that too much Popsicle per day is not good for his health. So, when he showed me signals that he wants more Popsicle; I often rejected it by saying “No” with the head shaking. At that time, I didn’t know that it was also the first lesson I gave to him. This means that the first word he can pronounce to his mother when she feed him is “No”. Another example, from the time he got to know that everyone around him could feed himself or herself, he started to learn how to feed himself by watching the behaviors of his closet adults and imitating it. From these cases, we know that let your children watching what his closet adults are doing and copying it is a good way to help them to learn about life. However, this is not the best way, which is also the point I disagree with this above statement.

A child is like a “mirror” that reflects not only the good behaviors but also the bad ones from the closet adults. No parents want to teach their children bad habits however you should remember that the little eyes is always watching is very important for parents. New research shows that one of the reasons for kids lie early is that they are just copying their parents.

In conclusion, closet adults living with a child play an important role in creating his characteristics. Therefore, taking good care of your behaviors helps to take good care of your children.

[Gray]

Though I am not a teacher, I would say -- you wrote it well. But as the topic suggests, you should at least have one example to contrast other methods of learning against learning by imitation.

And I guess, you meant "closest" and not "closet". Just mentioning adults or parents is enough here.

By the way, why not tell us a bit about yourself?
_________________
First lesson - English, not english. I, not i. ~A student of English

[Mango_Yogurt]

Thanks for your comments.

I am a student. I love to laugh, just want to be happy.

I am practicing my English writing skill. Nice to meet you

[Dancingqueen]

good work. Looks like a 4 scorer. You may like to work a little more on sentence formation. Read more books or publications. That could definitely help. I have also recently started sharing my essays in this forum. May I request you to check my work and may be grade it too.
Thanks
Dancing queen