Some people think that governments should spend as much as money as possible...

[Xixinh]

Some people think that governments should spend as much as money as possible on developing or buying computer technology. Other people disagree and think that this money should be spent on more basic needs. Which one of these opinions do you agree with? Use specific and details to support your answers.

One of the major of government is to serve people, therefore, every decision effects directly to all citizens. Giving an amount of money, government should develop computer technology or spend this money on basic need. In my opinion, I support the latter because computer technology is not profitable, transportation need to improve and there are many people need helping from government.

When government develops computer-related, they need a huge investment at this moment and also its only use for long term planning. However, this plan brings more risks than normal because there are lots of computer-related company went bankrupt in the past. This means it is very easy to get nothing if government uses money to develop or buy computer technology. In the end, the promise of improving citizen life will not be able to complete.

Besides that, the transportation is going to falling apart and really need to improve. For example, the roads are worse and worse after long time existing, the bridges are also having cracks which are very easy to collapse and the public transportation means are not enough to serve the people living in the city. Therefore, the most important thing is that we need to invest to the basic need immediately.

In additional, there are more than two third of the poor living under the living standard, they really need supporting by the money of government. For example, the poor need food, water, clean water, health care, education which they haven’t been provided enough so far. Hence, we need to use the giving money for a better life of the poor instead of using this to developing computer.

In a short, computer technology is not a good choice for us to improve the life of people in the country. Government should concentrate on the basis need to pretend the risk, develop the transportation and help the poverties.

[Kitosdad]

Some people think that governments should spend as much money as possible on developing or buying computer technology. Other people disagree and think that this money should be spent on more basic needs. Which one of these opinions do you agree with? Use specific and details to support your answers.

One of the major (responsibilities) of (any) government is to serve (its) people. (T)herefore, every decision (it makes will have a direct effect on) all citizens.
Giv(en) an amount of money, should (they) develop computer technology, or spend this money on (more) basic need(s)?.

In my opinion, I support the latter because computer technology is not profitable.
(Public transport) need(s) to (be)improve(d) and there are many people (who)need help from (the) government.

When (the) government (decide to)develop computer-related (technology), they (will) need a huge investment at this moment, and also (to assess) its only use (with)long term planning.
However, this plan brings more risks than normal because there are lots of computer-related compan(ies) (who have gone) bankrupt in the past.
This means it is very easy to get nothing if government uses money to develop or buy computer technology.
In the end, the promise of improving citizen(s) life will not be able to (be)complete(d).

Besides that, the transportation is going to falling apart and really need(s) to (be)improve(d).
For example, the roads are (becoming) worse and worse after (having been) used for such a long time.
(T)he bridges are also having cracks which (could easily lead) to collapse, and the public transportation means (that there) are not enough (vehicles)to serve the people living in the city. Therefore, the most important thing is that we need to (attend) to the (peoples) basic need(s) immediately.

In additional, there are more than two third(s) of the poor living under the living standard. (T)hey really need supporting by the money of government.
For example, the poor need food, clean water, health care, (and) education which they haven’t been provided (with) so far. Hence, we need to use the giv(en) money for a better life of the poor instead of using this to develop computer(s).

In short, computer technology is not a good choice for us to improve the life of people in the country. Government should concentrate on the basi(c) need(s) of the people, (eradicate poverty) and (improve public transport standards.).

Not bad Xixinh, but you have a way to go yet.

Kitos.
_________________
If you need me, I'm here.

[Xixinh]

Dear Kitos,

I have reviewed my essay as follows.
Hope that will be got high score by you.

Warmest regards,
Xixinh.
___

One of the major responsibilities of any government is to serve its people. Therefore, every decision, it makes will have a direct effect on all citizens. And, it is given an amount of money, should develop computer technology, or spend this money on more basic needs? In my opinion, I support the latter because computer technology is not profitable. Also, public transport needs to be improved and there are many people who need help from the government.

When the government decide to develop computer-related technology, they will need a huge investment at this moment, and also to assess its only use with long term planning. However, this plan brings more risks than normal because there are lots of computer-related companies which have gone bankrupt in the past. This means it is very easy to get nothing if government uses money to develop or buy computer technology. In the end, the promise of improving citizens life will not be able to be completed.

Besides that, the transportation is going to falling apart and really needs to be improved. For example, the roads are becoming worse and worse after having been used for such a long time. The bridges are also having cracks which could easily lead to collapse. The public transportation means that there are not enough vehicles to serve the people living in the city. Therefore, the most important thing is that we need to attend to the peoples basic needs immediately.

In additional, there are more than two thirds of the poor living under the living standard. They really need supporting by the money of government. For example, the poor need food, clean water, health care, and education which they haven’t been provided with so far. Hence, we need to use the given money for a better life of the poor instead of using this to develop computers.

In short, computer technology is not a good choice for us to improve the life of people in the country. Government should concentrate on the basic needs of the people, eradicate poverty and improve public transport standards.

[Kitosdad]

Good morning my young friend. My work is not perfect when judged against that of Alan or Mr. Micawber, but for a non-native speaker I'm fairly confident that your edited version will be better received that the earlier one.

You should be confident in obtaining a pass mark at least. Well done.

Don't relax though. There is still much work to be done.

Kitos.
_________________
If you need me, I'm here.