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TOEFL® essay: Boys and girls should attend separate schools.



 
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TOEFL essay: Boys and girls should attend separate schools. #1 (permalink) Tue Jul 21, 2009 11:09 am   TOEFL essay: Boys and girls should attend separate schools.
 

Somebody please rate this essay !!!
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Boys and Girls should attend separate schools.

Today, we see boys and girls everywhere study in the same schools. However, there are some people who think that it’s better to make them attend separate schools. I personally think that this is wrong and support the idea that boys and girls should attend the same schools because of some reasons.

Firstly, seperate school attendance for boys and girls creates the inequality between male and female. Long time ago, in the feudal system, there was a thinking which valued men above women. Therefore, boys and girls were forced to attend separate schools. People thought men were better than women. In fact, women nowadays can do well almost everything men can do, such as playing sports, studying science, etc. They are struggling to have the same rights as men. So there is no reason to keep boys and girls in separate schools.

Secondly, studying at the same schools helps boys and girls have better socialization skills. Because boys and girls have different personalities and interests and sooner or later, they have to live and work together, so they must study together to understand each others when they are young. For example, understanding the difference of personalities between the male and female customers, the seller can have the proper behavior to satisfy the customers; or knowing the different abilities of men and women, the manager can have appropriate share of work for his employees.

Finally, students should be taught sex education and it is easier to teach it to them if they are in the same classes. They won't feel shy when meeting the opposite sex friend and become more friendly to each other. That would help them a lot in life after school. If boys and girls were educated in separate schools, they would be curious about the opposite sex friend and that might lead to a misunderstanding. That could be very dangerous.

In conclusion, these above reasons show that atteding the same schools is the result of society's development process, expressing the idea in a human culture and scientific way, and it is accepted by the overwhelming majority. Thus, the co-education for boys and girls is needless to dispute.

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Simaster
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TOEFL essay: Boys and girls should attend separate schools. #2 (permalink) Tue Jul 21, 2009 17:40 pm   TOEFL essay: Boys and girls should attend separate schools.
 

Another well reasoned essay Sim.

Don't think you have a lot to learn, but be aware, there are still some easily avoidable errors in all of your essays. Nevertheless, very well done.

Kitos.
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TOEFL essay: Boys and girls should attend separate schools. #3 (permalink) Wed Jul 22, 2009 0:45 am   TOEFL essay: Boys and girls should attend separate schools.
 

Thank you for your advise. I have read all of my essays again. They all have errors. But this one, I still can't find any error. Could you please help me correct this essay's errors. Thank you in advance.
Simaster
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TOEFL essay: Boys and girls should attend separate schools. #4 (permalink) Wed Jul 22, 2009 1:10 am   TOEFL essay: Boys and girls should attend separate schools.
 

It's worth to read. Thanks for sharing :)
Mango_Yogurt
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TOEFL essay: Boys and girls should attend separate schools. #5 (permalink) Wed Jul 22, 2009 6:17 am   TOEFL essay: Boys and girls should attend separate schools.
 

Today, we see boys and girls everywhere study(ing) in the same schools. However, there are some people who think that it’s better to make them attend separate schools. I personally think that this is wrong and support the idea that boys and girls should attend the same schools because of (the following) reasons.

Firstly, seperate school attendance for boys and girls creates (the-not needed) inequality between male and female.
(A)long time ago, in the feudal system, there was a (school of thought) which valued men above women. Therefore, boys and girls were forced to attend separate schools. People thought men were better than women. In fact, women nowadays can do almost everything men can do, such as playing sports, studying science, etc.
They are struggling to have the same rights as men. So there is no reason to keep boys and girls in separate schools.

Secondly, studying at the same schools helps boys and girls (to develop) better social skills.
(B)oys and girls have different personalities and interests, (but) sooner or later, they have to live and work together, so they (should) study together to understand each other (whilst) they are young.
For example, (by)understanding the difference (in) personalities between the male and female customers, the seller can have the proper (approach) to satisfy the customers; or knowing the different abilities of men and women, the manager can (designate) (a more appropriate role) of work (to) his employees.

Finally, students should be taught sex education, and it is easier to teach it to them if they are in the same classes.
They won't feel shy when meeting (friends of)the opposite sex and (will) become more friendly & relaxed to(ward) each other.
That would help them a lot in (their) li(ves) after school. If boys and girls were educated in separate schools, they would be curious about the opposite sex and that might lead to a misunderstanding. That could be very dangerous.

In conclusion, the above reasons show that attending the same schools (to be) the result of society's development process, expressing the idea in a human, cultur(al) and scientific way, and it is ( now) accepted by the overwhelming majority. Thus, the co-education for boys and girls is needless to dispute.

Kitos.
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Kitosdad
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TOEFL essay: Boys and girls should attend separate schools. #6 (permalink) Wed Jul 22, 2009 10:25 am   TOEFL essay: Boys and girls should attend separate schools.
 

Thank you very much, Mr. Kitos. You helped me a lot.
Simaster
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TOEFL essay: Boys and girls should attend separate schools. #7 (permalink) Thu Jul 23, 2009 12:25 pm   TOEFL essay: Boys and girls should attend separate schools.
 

My pleasure Sim.

Kitos.
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TOEFL essay: Boys and girls should attend separate schools. #8 (permalink) Thu Jul 23, 2009 13:26 pm   TOEFL essay: Boys and girls should attend separate schools.
 

Hi Kitos,

Kindly edit and request your comments please - Thanks,

I will never agree with this statement. When girls and boys study together will understand each other very well. They will learn & understand about the opposite sex. They’ll get along with each other well.

It will be easy for them to communicate when get to work or if they are migrating to another place/ country.

When girls are studied in girl’s school will feel shy to talk a boy and may not be able to get along with their male co-workers. Where ever they go they will only look for females to communicate and there social skills will be weak. These girls may fall for flirting boys.

But Girls who studied with boys will be free and can get along with anybody. There communication skill will be strong. They will know about the boy’s character and they can judge them and avoid flirting boys easily.

In the same way when boys are studied in the boys school, can’t get along with others well. They will be attracted to their opposite sex and they will mistake the girls who talk them in friendly manner. They will be eager to know more about girls in wrong manner. They will not be ready accept girls equal to them. They will build up superiority complex.

But boys who studied in co-ed will not have such feeling. They will understand girl’s problem and will help them in all the ways. Also they can get along not only with there friends/ co-workers but also with their Mother, sisters and wife. He will be an understanding and helpful person.
Hema Bernard
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TOEFL essay: Boys and girls should attend separate schools. #9 (permalink) Thu Jul 23, 2009 15:41 pm   TOEFL essay: Boys and girls should attend separate schools.
 

I will never agree with this statement. When girls and boys study together (they) will understand each other very well. They will learn & understand about the opposite sex. They’ll get along well with each other.

It will be easy for them to communicate when (they) get to work or if they are migrating to another place/ country.

When girls are stud(ying) in (a) girl’s school (they) will feel shy to talk (to) a boy and may not be able to get along with their male co-workers.
(Wherever) they go they will only look for females to communicate (with) and (their) social skills will be weak. These girls may fall for flirting boys.

But girls who (have) studied with boys will be free (of such inhibitions) and can get along with anybody. (Their) communication skill(s) will be strong. They will know about the boys(') character and they can judge them and easily avoid flirting boys .

Nice one Hema, nice one.
Take note when you are speaking about singular or plural persons, and write the sentence accordingly.

Kitos.

In the same way, (boys who have only studied in a) boys' school. (They) can’t get along (well) with others.
They will be attracted to the opposite sex and they will mistake the girls who talk them in friendly manner. They will be eager to know more about girls in (a) wrong manner. They will not be ready (to) accept (that) girls (are)equal to them. They will build up (a) superiority complex.

But boys who studied in co-ed will not have such feeling(s). They will understand girls' problem(s) and will help them in (many) ways.
Also they can get along not only with there friends/ co-workers but also with their Mother, sisters and wife. (They) will be(come) understanding and helpful pe(ople).[
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TOEFL essay: Boys and girls should attend separate schools. #10 (permalink) Fri Jul 24, 2009 5:05 am   TOEFL essay: Boys and girls should attend separate schools.
 

Thanks Mr.Kitos,

Why should we use - boys' not boys
Hema Bernard
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TOEFL essay: Boys and girls should attend separate schools. #11 (permalink) Fri Jul 24, 2009 5:35 am   TOEFL essay: Boys and girls should attend separate schools.
 

Good morning Hema.

Your boy's school means the school of that particular boy.
Boys' school indicates the school of all of the boys.
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TOEFL essay: Boys and girls should attend separate schools. #12 (permalink) Fri Jul 24, 2009 6:31 am   TOEFL essay: Boys and girls should attend separate schools.
 

Thanks a Ton Mr.Kitos,

Very good morning.
I'm feeling that I've improved English better than before joining this forum. Thanks for all your help.

Whenever you edit my essay, I once again rewrite it and correct it myself. There would few mistakes which I may gradually overcome.

Thanks Once again

How do you feel , I've shown any improvement ? Can I have your comments please,

With regards,
Hema
Hema Bernard
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TOEFL essay: Boys and girls should attend separate schools. #13 (permalink) Fri Jul 24, 2009 7:24 am   TOEFL essay: Boys and girls should attend separate schools.
 

Hello little Hema :)

I do so admire your persistence in conquering this complex language of ours. You always show such good deep feelings in your posts.
Surely you have improved, and I'm sure that you will continue to do so because you show the dedication of a truly determined scholar.

We are all here to help you along this difficult path, and to help whenever you need us.

Kitos.
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Kitosdad
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TOEFL essay: Boys and girls should attend separate schools. #14 (permalink) Fri Jul 24, 2009 8:49 am   TOEFL essay: Boys and girls should attend separate schools.
 

Thank You so much

Hema
Hema Bernard
You can meet me at english-test.net


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TOEFL essay: Boys and girls should attend separate schools. #15 (permalink) Fri Jul 24, 2009 13:53 pm   TOEFL essay: Boys and girls should attend separate schools.
 

Is there somebody help me revise the essay?Thanks a lot!
Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Text:
With significant success of feminist campaign, woman is playing an increasingly vital role on society. Woman can share the same rights with man without gender discrimination. Therefore, numerous individuals claim that universities are supposed to recruit male and female pupils in the same number in each subject. This essay will look at some of the argument for and against the same number between boys and girls in the college.
It is evident that in terms of such a phenomenon may create numerous merits. For one thing, gender balance can reduce the violence and criminal acts in the campus. The reason is that plenty of boys will fight against each other in order to pursue a girl they love. If school has male and female pupils at the same number, the problem will be tackle to some extent. Furthermore, sexism balance can improve the discipline at class. In the school of female scarcity, boys like to show their capability excessively in class aiming at attracting females’ attention and winning girls’ appreciation. Even though quarrel with each other in class. Hence, most of the classes are always in chaos. It is fairly beneficial for college enrolling students as the same sex proportion. In addition, universities accept equal numbers of male and female students can completely eliminate the issue of sexism discrimination.
On the other hand, it is unscientific to separate the equal numbers of students in gender in every subject. To begin with, some certain subjects involve huge physical and psychological stresses are suitable for boys to learn. Take civil engineering for example. Apparently, girls are reluctant to study such a major which are probably suffered from a tough environment. In addition, as a matter of objective fact that the amount of males outweigh that of females remarkably all over the world. Consequently, there are numerous difficulties for universities to recruit the identical number of male and female pupils in each subject.
To sum up, I admit that realizing identical number of boys and girls in every subject at college would bring a host of benefits. Nevertheless, I firmly believe that it is much more advantageous for universities to enroll students as their performance, interests and characteristics.
Tonynit90
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