TOEFL® essay: People attend college or university for many different reasons

[Silky]

Dear Team Members, could anybody please correct my essay and rate it with the TOEFL scale. I really need your help as I am facing only essay problem and there is nobody exept you who can help me with essay. Many thanks.
Also please suggest me how should I improve my Essay writing skills.

People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, and increased knowledge.


From the ancient time people gives preference to studies. From all aspects knowledge is very important for continues development of world. When the child born in family every parents think for his big future and good future can be make by knowledge and hard work. What is the main reason to earn good education? Some of them we can illustrate here.

As life starts and grows everybody needs important things to survive from where s/he will get it if they don’t have money and from where did money will come. Money will come by doing some work for that they should have knowledge and that knowledge can achieve by education.

Even initially education is sufficient to survive but all of them have its own dream for this long journey of life. Some want s to create some thing related to science, some want to fight against corruption, some wants to be great businessman or entrepreneur so what ever is there dream to achieve it they need some knowledge and experience.
Some People attend college just to earn degree but that degree also helps to get right decision in life time.

Higher education provides strong career with continuous growth.

TOEFL listening lectures: How did Queen Elizabeth acknowledge the English victory?

[Dancingqueen]

your essay has lot of grammatical mistakes. Chck your essay before your post it. An essay needs to be well organized with illustrations or examples. You may sometimes like to share your own example while writing an essay. Moreover, take out time to practise vocbulary, sentence correction and formation.
Good luck
Dancing queen

[Gray]

[Silky]

Hey Dancingqueen,

Thank you so much for your assessment of my essay. I will check properly next time. Thanks once again.

[JackAloof]

This is my first time to write the toefl essay,and im going to have a toefl test this 9.26...that please have a look at my essay...and help to correct my mistakes and give me some suggestions...thanks..

1， why do u think people attend university ?
When it comes a question that why so many people attend universities or colleges, there are such prevail reasons like getting a better job after graduated, getting more knowledge to improve ourselves, etc. Universities or colleges is a place where people pusure a bachelor degree which may be a key to be offered a job.
With the development of science and internet, the world are in a high-speed opearation. Everyone are afraid to take a slight change to slow down the pace a little bit. So we are busily egaged in studying. We are obliged to go through a battle to enter the top universities. In the universities, we learn an abundant of knowledge. We can discuss what we interest with our professors and our classmates. We can choose the courses freely. We employ the knowledge to internships. Also living on the campus means that living in a small society. Universities is a bridge to the real world. You will meet a lot of different people from other areas. Campus is not only a place for study, but it also a place for culture exchange.There you will experience other cultrue and people’s friendly. Not only do we broaden our eyes, but also we expand our social circles. Then we get more experience which may be a paramount key to our future.
However, some people attend universities just for fun. They just stay awake through the class and even don’t know what the courses they take. All they want to just a bachelor degree. In their opinion, once they get the degree, it assumes that they will surely get a job.
As far as I am concerned, college life is a crucial part of our life before we enter the society. When I was a child, it is my dream and my parents’ expectations to go to college. Just like most of people, it is a way to absorb the basic sklls and experience which exerts pivotal influences on your whole life and a unforgettable memory.