TOEFL® essay: Some people prefer to work in one company for all their career.

[Gurramrashmi]

Please check and review my essay.

Some people prefer to work in one company for all their career. Others think it is better to move from company to company. Discuss the advantages of each position. Which do you think is better and why?

Population is increasing day by day. Therefore, competition is also increasing. Consequently, finding a job is a big challenge. Every body has own opinion. It does not matter whether you work in one company for all their career or move company to company. Only feelings matter. Work in one company for all their career and move company to company both have their own advantages. But even I thing move from company to company is much better then stay in one company for whole career.

First I would like to describe the advantages to work in one company for whole career. In my perspective in this case people feel more relax, have time for family and confidence. The reason is people who do not want to change their job do not have stress in their mind. So they feel relax. If people work in one company for whole career they have time for family and friends. They do not give time for studying. They do only job. These people have much more knowledge of their work. The reason they are doing the same work from long time. Therefore, they have confidence and have job security as well.

On the other hand, some people like to move company to company. This also has own advantages. Those people who like to move company to company can make more money. The reason is where they get more money they always ready to go. In my perspective money is the most important need of life. So move company to company is much better. People can increase their knowledge if they change company shortly. The reason is in this case they will have to study for cracking the interview. So for knowledge perspective move company to company is also good. Those people change their job shortly get the habit of adjustment in different environment and feel confident as well.

In a nut shell I would like to say people should move company to company. In this case companies can get hard working, intelligent, confident and good skills employee. This is not only good for employee or employer but for the country also.

[Kitosdad]

Gurramrashmi, you are capable of far better work than this. It may make a lot of sense to you, but it is just slapped-together willy-nilly.

Please correct it into a more presentable form.
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If you need me, I'm here.

[Gurramrashmi]

Hi Kitos
Please can you tell me where I did mistakes. I am not able to find it out.
Rashmi

[Kitosdad]

My friend, it needs to be re-written.
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If you need me, I'm here.

[Gurramrashmi]

Hi Kitos
As you suggest me to re write the essay. I wrote it. Please make the correction. I hope it will be good.

Some people prefer to work in one company for all their career. Others think it is better to move from company to company. Discuss the advantages of each position. Which do you think is better and why?

My people live on earth. Every body has own opinion. It does not matter whether you work in one company for all their career or move company to company. Only feelings matter. Work in one company for all their career and move company to company both have their own advantages. In my perspective move from company to company is much better then stay in one company for whole career.

First I would like to describe the advantages to work in one company for whole career. I feel those people work in one company feel more relax, have time for their family and confidence as well. If people work in one company they do not have stress in their mind. So they feel relax. These people have time for their family and friends. Their career is decided and have job. I also feel if people work only in one company for all their career they have much more knowledge of their work. The reason is they are doing the same work since a long time. Therefore, they have confidence and job security as well.

On the other hand, those people who like to move company to company can make more money. The reason is where they get more money they ready to go and switch their job. In my perspective money is the most important need of life. So move company to company is much better as compare to stay in one company. People can increase their knowledge if they change company shortly. The reason is in this case they will have to study for cracking the interview. So for knowledge sake move from company to company is also good. Those people change their job shortly get the habit of adjustment in different environment and feel confident as well. In my opinion if people change their job shortly they become intelligent, adjusting, confident and hard working. These are key aspect to get success. So in long run those people who are interested in changing their job can achieve the success in their future.

In a nut shell I would like to say people should move from company to company. In this case companies can get hard working, intelligent, confident and good skill employees. This is not only good for employees or employers but for the country as well.

[Kitosdad]

.

Some people prefer to work in one company for (the whole of ) their career(s).
Others think it is better to move from company to company. Discuss the advantages of each position. Which do you think is better and why?

(Many) people live on earth, (and) (everybody) has (their) own opinion.
It does not matter whether you work in one company for all of your career or move from company to company.
Only feelings matter.
People can work in one company for the whole of their career or move from company to company. Both have their own advantages.

In my opinion moving from company to company is much better then staying in one company for your whole career.

First I would like to describe the advantages of working in one company for the whole of your career.

I feel those people work in one company feel more relaxed, and have time for their family, and are more confident .

If people work in one company they do not have stress in their mind. So they feel relaxed.

These people have time for their family and friends. Their career is decided and they have a job. I also feel if people work only in one company for all of their careers and they have much more knowledge of their work. The reason is they are doing the same work for a long time.

Therefore, they have confidence and job security as well.

On the other hand, those people who like to move from company to company can make more money.

In my opinion money is the most important need of life. So moving from company to company is much better as compared to staying in one company.

People can increase their knowledge if they change company's regularly. The reason is, in this case they will have to study for "cracking" the interview.

So for knowledge sake moving from company to company is also good.
Those people who change their jobs regularly get the habit of adjustment in different environment and feel confident as well.

In my opinion, if people change their job frequently they become intelligent, adjusting, confident and hard working. These are key aspects in gaining success. So in long run those people who are interested in changing their job can achieve the success in their future.

In a nut-shell, I would like to say people should move from company to company. In this case companies will get hard working, intelligent, confident and skilful employees. This is not only good for employees or employers but for the country as well.

I don't want you to think for one moment that I was being hyper-critical of your essay.
It is simply that I have seen that you are capable of better work than this.

Kitos.
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If you need me, I'm here.

[Gurramrashmi]

Thanks Kitos
I know it is a hard work. Next time i will try to write a good essay.
Rashmi

[Kitosdad]

Rashmi, you are more than capable of doing so.

Kitos.
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If you need me, I'm here.