|
|
#2 (permalink) Fri Jul 24, 2009 10:24 am Unnamed 3 (He was reluctant to concede that he was never good at expressing...) |
|
|
Gray,
You killed his mother, made his father an alcoholic and him a loser!! :)
It's 'the happiest' end I've ever read :))) _________________ incomplete.... |
|
Kiprida I'm here quite often ;-)
Joined: 12 May 2009 Posts: 271 Location: Baku, Azerbaijan
|
|
#3 (permalink) Fri Jul 24, 2009 10:27 am Unnamed 3 (He was reluctant to concede that he was never good at expressing...) |
|
|
Gray,
You , a person from Proxima Centauri, the nearest star to Sun should have written something shining and hot!! You disappointed me ;)
~Phoebe _________________ incomplete.... |
|
Kiprida I'm here quite often ;-)
Joined: 12 May 2009 Posts: 271 Location: Baku, Azerbaijan
|
 |
#4 (permalink) Fri Jul 24, 2009 13:21 pm Unnamed 3 (He was reluctant to concede that he was never good at expressing... |
|
|
| Kiprida wrote: |
You killed his mother, made his father an alcoholic and him a loser!! :)
|
This is just a story. And I did justice to it for life is not as dramatic as stories are :)
| Kiprida wrote: |
| It's 'the happiest' end I've ever read :))) |
I myself have been a reader for a long time and always felt that the end should be happy.
The story ends, but leaves a beginning behind ;) _________________ First lesson - English, not english. I, not i. ~A student of English |
|
Gray I'm here quite often ;-)

Joined: 21 Nov 2008 Posts: 978 Location: Proxima Centauri
|
 |
#5 (permalink) Fri Jul 24, 2009 13:27 pm Unnamed 3 (He was reluctant to concede that he was never good at expressing... |
|
|
| Kiprida wrote: |
Gray,
You , a person from Proxima Centauri, the nearest star to Sun should have written something shining and hot!! You disappointed me ;)
~Phoebe |
This was my first attempt to write a story :)
Which way this story should go? What do you think? _________________ First lesson - English, not english. I, not i. ~A student of English |
|
Gray I'm here quite often ;-)

Joined: 21 Nov 2008 Posts: 978 Location: Proxima Centauri
|
 |
#6 (permalink) Fri Jul 24, 2009 15:27 pm Unnamed 3 (He was reluctant to concede that he was never good at expressing... |
|
|
Oh, Gray, Gray, Gray my friend. You had a whole lifetime before you.
A beautiful girl, a challenging education, from which you could have emerged a scholar of repute. A wonderful career to forge. A disastrous accident were all way lost.
Your decline into drink and destitution.
Your return to your simple and satisfying life in the village where you were respected because of your education and wisdom.
Another fair maiden to win your heart.
The building of a school to educate the village children........................................................................................................
Happy endings abound, and you are finished?????????????????????????????? _________________ Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting. |
|
Kitosdad Language Coach

Joined: 04 Mar 2009 Posts: 13417 Location: ESSEN, Germany, (but English.)
|
 |
#7 (permalink) Fri Jul 24, 2009 15:46 pm Unnamed 3 (He was reluctant to concede that he was never good at expressing... |
|
|
| Kitosdad wrote: |
| Happy endings abound, and you are finished?????????????????????????????? |
I know, but that was not me, that was the hero of the story :)
The story ends, but leaves a beginning behind. It was intentional, there is much left to begin with...to begin with a sequel ;)
Coming soon -- Unnamed Part II :) :) :) _________________ First lesson - English, not english. I, not i. ~A student of English |
|
Gray I'm here quite often ;-)

Joined: 21 Nov 2008 Posts: 978 Location: Proxima Centauri
|
 |
|
Gray I'm here quite often ;-)

Joined: 21 Nov 2008 Posts: 978 Location: Proxima Centauri
|
 |
|
| Sceptical or skeptical? | Welcome to our forum |