A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your...

[Yamilet]

Can you let me know what do you think about my essay.Do you have any suggestions?

Pollution is the main concern that the community has when a factory is built close by. This present a disadvantage for the town. However, it also has its advantages which are very important. For instance, there will be a wide range of opportunities for people to find a job, and as a consequence, the unemployment rate will decrease considerably. I support the company decision to build a factory near our homes, as long as there are steps taken, to reduce the amount of chemical waste.

One of the reasons why the air is being polluted, is the amount of dirt and smoke being released by power plants, every single day. In addition, the chemical waste is also bad for the environment, especially for the water which are being contaminated, and as a result, our floras and faunas are in great danger. These are the disadvantages in the actuality, that any kind of factory brings upon a town.


In the other hand, this plant provides a significant amount of jobs for the community. This means, that there will be less unemployed people. Therefore, the lives of each individual is changed, and their lives will be improved. Another advantage, of a factory in our neighborhood is that accommodates the daily commute of its workers. Since the traveling time would be a lot shorter. The workers may choose to walk, carpool,or ride a bike to work . Moreover, there will be less cars on the roads, and this will reduce the amount of pollution as well.

In conclusion, building a new factory close by our communities have its benefits, and drawbacks. I personally support the decision of building a factory, but I'm aware of the consequences. Pollution affects humans kind as well as animals, and this means, that we are in a tremendous danger. But, if there are steps taken to protect the environment, then this choice will be favorable for everybody.

TOEFL listening discussions: What is the purpose of this meeting?
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Yamilet

[Gray]

The first paragraph sounded like a conclusion, it should be introductory.
Obviously, there is not much difference between the last paragraph and the first one.

The essay should flow smoothly -- it should begin with an introduction to grab reader's attention,
followed by two or three arguments and should end with a conclusion.

Nowhere we should be repeating what is already stated before.

There is not anything simpler than to criticize someone else's writing.
Keep writing, I will criticize for sure :) Kidding.
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First lesson - English, not english. I, not i. ~A student of English

[Yamilet]

Ha ha, thanks
I have to practice more in my Intro for sure
Keep criticizing it helps me :)
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Yamilet