Why do people attend college or university?

[Blackswallow]

Please read my essay and give me some comment if possible. Thanks so much.

Why do people attend college or university? I think that there is a variety of reason for each people to attend college. But in general, they attend college and university with the hope that they will gain more academic knowledge as well as living experience; approach helpful learning model and make a good preparation for their career.

Firstly, most of our academic knowledge are acquired during the time we attend college.In college, we will learn a lot of information in a lot of fields in so many levels. We will be provided not only general knowledge but also specific knowledge of a particular area that you are interested in. Moreover, attending college give you a chance to live in a new environment where there are a lot of friends who come from every places in your country or even all over the world. As you try to adapt with your campus life, you will get more living experience. Attending college does not only give you necessary information but also socialized skills that are very helpful for your career in the future

Secondary, attending college where there are a lot of professions who are professional in teaching will help you find out which is the best learning model for you. You will have a academic consulter to give you benefitial advise about which program that you should take, which course that you should enroll, which field that you should major in. From this new approach in study, you will probably achieve the best result as you should be in academy.

Lastly, attending college will give you better chance to get a good job with a high salary over the people who do not have a bachelor degree. The result of study that you have in your college will be the clearest evidence of your qualification. It shows that you did have required knowledge and skill to do a good job in a relevant field.

Attending college will be a big advantage for anyone who want to
start a successful career. It provide you necessary knowledge as well as appropriate skills for your future work. But keep in mind that attending college just helps you to make a good preparation for your career, not guarantee that you will get whatever you want if you do not plan to work hard.

TOEFL listening discussions: What did the young man do during his last holiday?

[Kitosdad]

Why do people attend college or university? I think that there is a variety of reason(s) (why) people attend college, (b)ut in general, they attend college (or) university with the hope that they will gain more academic knowledge as well as (gaining) experience; (hopefully finding a) learning model and ( they will be able to) make a good preparation for their career.

Firstly, most of our academic knowledge (is) acquired during the time we attend college.
In college,we will learn a lot of information in a lot of fields in so many levels.
We will be provided not only (with) general knowledge, but also specific knowledge of a particular area that (we) are interested in.

Moreover, attending college give(s) you a chance to live in a new environment, where there are a lot of (people) who come from all over the world.
As you try to adapt (to) your campus life, you will get more living experience.
Attending college does not only give you necessary information, but also (helps develop) social skills that are very helpful for your (future) career.

Second(ly), attending college where there are a lot of professions who are professional in teaching, will help you find out which is the best learning model for you.
You will have a(n) academic consult(ant) to give you benefi(c)ial advi(c)e about which program(me) that you should take, which course that you should enroll in (and) which field that you should major in.

Lastly, attending college will give you (a) better chance to get a good job with a high salary over the people who do not have a bachelor degree.
The result of (the studies) that you have (made)in your college will be the clearest evidence of your qualification.
It shows that you (do) have (the)required knowledge and skill to do a good job in a relevant field.

Attending college will be a big advantage for anyone who want(s) to start a successful career. It provide(s) you (with the) necessary knowledge as well as appropriate skills for your future work, (b)ut keep in mind that attending college (only) helps you to make a good preparation for your career, (it does)not guarantee that you will get whatever you want if you do not (intend) to work hard.

Kitos. A better essay BS. You're getting there. Nice progress.
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Blackswallow]

Thanks so much for your encouragement, Kitos.
I know that I did make a lot of mistakes in this essay. But it does not really matter. That is the reason why I am here :-)

[Kitosdad]

"That is the reason why I am here."

With such a positive attitude we'll get you through BS.
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.