Children should begin their formal education at a very early age and should spend

[Desislava Stoitsova]

Could you correct my essay or give helpful advices...

112 Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age and should spend most of their time on school studies. Others believe that young children should spend most of their time playing. Compare these two views. Which view do you agree with? Why?

Childhood is probably one of the most essential periods of a person’s life and should be spent wise. Both choices- to spend it mainly in studying or playing games have its advantages and disadvantages.
If children begin their education at a very early age, they won’t waste their time, probably will turn into well educated persons, but too serious and also could start hating school. On the other hand, if they spend most of their time playing, they could develop vital skills, but they’ll be probably be bored of studying and could not find a good job. First of all, because children have good memory and learn quickly, childhood is a great time to study hard, which could be a great advantage in future. Based on my experience, knowledge and skills gained in childhood are very strong and will be useful and helpful in person’s whole life. Furthermore, starting a child’s education at very early age means that this child will not waste his or her time in watching the same episodes lots of times. They often are wondering what to do and it’s a great opportunity and the best decision for a child to study. However, if children spend most of their time on school studies, they’ll probably become too serious, which could be a great problem for his or her parents. Nowadays children grow up earlier and loose the great opportunity to have a merry childhood. If a child studies to much, he or she could also have social problems. This kind of children are called bookwarms by their classmates and are usually not beloved. Second of all, when children spend most of their time playing, they usually develop vital skills such as creativity and dexterity. This could help them in future and could be a great advantage. They’ll probably develop a great imagination and important social skills. But this choice has also its advantages. If kids are given too much freedom and if they spend too much playing, they’ll probably have problems at school. Based on my experience, when children want to play, they’re not concentrated, so they couldn’t study effectively, which will affect their grades and will lead to lack of knowledge and essential skills. Therefore, if they’re not good students, these children could not find a good job and ruin their future.
I believe that children should begin their formal education at early age because this could be a good advantage in this competitive world, won’t waste their time, but could also have some time for playing. Nowadays everybody wants to be first, people compete every day for everything- a good education, job, house, etc. Therefore, if children start their school preparation earlier, they’ll have a better chance to succeed in life. Spending most of a child’s time on school studies doesn’t mean that he or she will not have time to live his or her childhood. Most of the children watch a television all day long and avoid reading books or doing exercises. I started reading books on age of five and believe that studying could be part of children’s childhood and also could make it even better.
In brief, spending most of children’s time either on school studies or playing has its advantages and disadvantages and would lead to shaping different personalities. However, I would choose the first variant because I consider that it would be essential and valuable for every child to spend most of her or his childhood studying and less time on relaxing, having fun and playing.