TOEFL® essay: Knowledge gain in classrooms and personal experiences

[Yamilet]

This is my first compare and contrast essay. Can you please let me know what do you think? Any suggestions are greatly appreciated.
Thanks in advance.

It has been said, "Not all learning takes place in the classroom." Compare and contrast knowledge gained from personal experience with knowledge gained from classroom instruction. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why?

Knowledge is learned in different ways, some through books and education, and others by experiences that we have had. Classroom knowledge is vital to our development as professional, and in order to have a career, as well as a well paid job. But we also learn from past mistakes, and from the errors that we have made throughout our lives. They are both very important for us to be able to gain different kind of knowledges, and to choose just one would be unrealistic.

All the information we need to be able to function well in society, have a job, a house, a car, and have the main necessities we need in life is found through education. These education is found in the classroom, and here is where we learn to get the knowledge we need to succeed. In the same way, knowledge is learned by personal experiences. We are human being, and we learn to recognize when we make a mistake. This has a great significance in our development to become more mature as well as knowledgeable. We learn valuable lesson both in the classrooms and by person experiences every single day.

In contrast, there are many lesson from which we don't learn by our own mistakes , but rather in the schools. For instance, we cannot become a professional, or work as one, without the training, and the education that we need in order to learn the main factors of that profession. These cannot be learned by experiences. We do not go, and work as a doctor. In order to learn how to save people's lives we need to study in the classroom, and get the education we need to be able to function well, and on an ethical manner . Otherwise no matter how experienced at working with sick people we may be, we could not do our job right. In addition, we would be putting people's lives in danger.

In conclusion, both learning through experiences, and in the classrooms are crucial to our lives. We need them both in order to become professionals, and to learn lessons that we may use throughout our lives. We cannot depend to much on just one knowledge, because in real life we'll be using both of them. For instance, it wouldn't be practical to have knowledge about the economy, but not to know how to deal with a misunderstanding with your best friend.
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Yamilet

[Kitosdad]

Knowledge is learned in different ways, some through books and education, and others by experiences that we have had. Classroom knowledge is vital to our development as professional, and in order to have a career, as well as a well paid job. But we also learn from past mistakes, and from the errors that we have made throughout our lives. They are both very important for us to be able to gain different kind(s) of knowledge, and to choose just one would be unrealistic.

All the information we need to be able to function well in society, have a job, a house, a car, and have the main necessities we need in life is found through education.(This) education is found in the classroom, and here is where we learn to get the knowledge we need to succeed. In the same way, knowledge is learned by personal experiences. We are human being(s), and we learn to recognize when we make a mistake. This has a great significance in our development to become more mature as well as knowledgeable. We learn valuable lesson(s) both in the classroom and by person(al) experiences every single day.

In contrast, there are many lesson(s) from which we don't learn by our own mistakes , but rather in the schools. For instance, we cannot become a professional, or work as one, without the training, and the education that we need in order to learn the main factors of that profession. These cannot be learned by experiences. We do not go, and work as a doctor. In order to learn how to save people's lives we need to study in the classroom, and get the education we need to be able to function well, and on an ethical manner . Otherwise no matter how experienced at working with sick people we may be, we could not do our job right. In addition, we would be putting people's lives in danger.

In conclusion, both learning through experiences, and in the classrooms are crucial to our lives. We need them both in order to become professionals, and to learn lessons that we may use throughout our lives. We cannot depend to(o) much on just one knowledge, because in real life we'll be using both of them. For instance, it wouldn't be practical to have knowledge about the economy, but not to know how to deal with a misunderstanding with your best friend.[/quote]
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[Yamilet]

Muchas gracias
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Yamilet