If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what will you change

[Landireneed]

This is my first time to post a essay here, and I hope somebody can give me a hand to correct and modify my essay. Thanks!!!! sincerely~~

My hometown is the biggest and the most crowded community in our city, which is populated by more than 400 thousand people from around our nation,mostly natives.Although my community is huge in population, it's living condition is not very up to the expectation of the residents.The environment is polluted by the neighboring industrial factory and the air is covered heavily by the flying dust caused by the construction operation of new buildings.Duo to the astonishing amount of population, the transport system around our community is seriously overloaded with frequent occurrences of traffic congestions and concequently the pollution of car exhauset.So what I am thinking strongly about is to change my community's environment, bringing a comfortable and beautiful pleasant home to the local residents.

First of all, our community has been long contaminated by the manufacturing factory's industiral waste, which triggering the dramatical decrease of health condition of local populace. A lot of people complain that they have been suffering from many sickness symptoms, such as nausea, dizziness and a reduced appetite, all of which are thought to be connected to the pollution of tap water.In this regard, I strongly suggest that the local government should take immediate and serious measures to deal with this issue. Efforts of testing and purification of the tap water and displacing the toxic factory to a remote area certainly will be highly appreciated by the suffering local residents, who, in reality, deserve the clean and safe water supply.

Second, I think it is urgent to tackle the problem of flying dust all over the air which results from the maloperation of the ongoing construction site.Nobody is entitled to deprived the local residents of their rights to breathe fresh and clean air, which I think is the fundamental need of people.However, some construction company do not conform to the relevant regulation about how to maintain the nearby environment and their construction work causes a huge amount of dust to be blew up and spread everywhere, which has been the main damage to the local environment.As a result, Fewer people desire to go out for a walk or to do some outdoor activity because they can not tolerate the murky air full of flying dust.Therefore, I think the department relating to this issue should take initiative to inspect the operation of local construction project and correct the mistake by the relevant leaders as well.Much to our delight,the state environmental protection administration and Ministry of construction have jointly formulated measures of environmental protection concerning the urban flying dust pollution prevention.I think the clear air is not far away from resurgence.

Last but not least, admittedly, the increasing number of private cars indicates that our living standards is improving correspondingly.Nevertheless,the local transport system, consequently, is on the edge of collapse.In the rush hour, be it in the morning or late afternoon, numerous private vehicles crowded in the narrow highroad where there is no more space left for additional cars. The unscientific layout of the highroad network and the lack of necessary transportation infrastructure are the two major causes of the problem.So repectively, more methodical measures should be taken to reorganize the highroad network, to the point where the highroads are capable of handling the whole mass of private cars, and the government should take responsibility to install the necessary transportion infrastructure to cooperate with reorganized road network.

[Landireneed]

don't you have some advice to my essay```` I'll really appreciate the criticism~

anyway thanks for the reply.