TOEFL® essay: Do you agree or disagree? There is no reason to study the past...

[J1m_My18]

It is very common to learn something about the past during study. Knowing something about the past is one of the most important educational skills. On the other hand, some people mean that there is no reason to study the past. However, in my opinion learning about the past is very important to prevent failures which are made in the past.

First, I feel that it is very valuable to know the past in order to learn from it. For example, during the financial crisis the governments of the industrial countries spend a lot of money in different fields such as the automobile economy or public projects. In the first financial crisis, the governments did not spend more money in order to support the economy which leaded in a bigger and more dangerous economic crisis.

This example shows that the governments learned about the first crisis. They spend more money to help the economy and therefore the crisis is not as dangerous as the first financial crisis. Therefore, I think that learning about the past will prevent people or governments to do the same wrong things as in the past.

Second, I mean that it is very interesting and important to know something about the past, because people can only understand the present or the future with the knowledge of the past. For instance, more people live in democratic countries than hundred years ago. Without knowing the reasons why so much people live in a democracy you cannot evaluate the values and importance of a democracy.

In conclusion, I feel that there are many reasons to study the past in order to learn something for the future. You can only make the world better if you learn from the past.

PLEASE evaluate this essay!!!

Thank you very much!

[Richard]

It is very common (If I were you, I’d write “quite common”) to learn something about the past during study. Knowing something about the past is one of the most important educational skills.(information about the past plays a highly significant role in being knowledgeable for reacting in future). On the other hand, some people mean (believe) that there is no reason to study the past. However, in my opinion (,) learning about the past is very important to prevent failures (and mistakes) which are made in the past.

First, (first and foremost, at firs, firstly, first of all) I feel (believe) that it is very valuable to know the past in order to learn from it. For example, during the financial crisis the governments of the industrial countries spend (spent, better to write= inject “quite a lot of money” or “very much money” into) a lot of money in different fields such as the automobile economy or public projects. In the first (of) the financial crisis, the governments did not spend more money in order to support the economy which leaded in (led to) a bigger and (with high probability of experiencing) more dangerous economic crisis.

This example (the above-mention instance ahs shown that) shows that the governments learned (had learned) about the first crisis. They spend(spent) more money to help the economy.( Therefore,) and therefore the crisis is not as dangerous as the first financial crisis. Therefore,(hence, subsequently, you are expected to find an alternative for your repetitive words) I think that learning about the past will prevent people or governments to do(from doing not “to do”= prevent somebody/something (from) doing something) the same wrong(s) ( or would prevent people from making the same mistakes) as in the past.

Second,(secondly, moreover) I mean (do believe that) that it is very interesting and important to know something about the past, because people can (only= it ain’t need) understand the present or the future with the knowledge of the past. For instance, more people live in democratic countries (over, more than) hundred years ago. Without knowing the reasons why so much people live in a democracy you cannot evaluate the values and importance of a democracy.

In conclusion, I feel that there are many reasons to study the past in order to learn something for the future. You can only make the world better if you learn from the past.

Read my essays, those might help you. Some other mistakes; you have to make a great attempt. Build your vocabulary. Don’t worry; you will be good at it soon. Good luck.

_________________
The limits of my language are the limits of my universe.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

[J1m_My18]

Hi Richard Jack.c,

thank you very much for your proof-reading. I will consider your critc comments and suggestions in the next essay.

Have a nice day!

[Supplanter]

Jim,
After reading your essay, I found out some mistakes similar to those Jack commented about. I feel you are on the path to improving your english writing skills. Improve your vocabulary, it is going to help you alot. All you need do is continue to practice for "Practice makes perfect".