Many people believe that it is very important to make large amounts of money

[Richard]

Many people believe that it is very important to make large amounts of money, while others are satisfied to earn a comfortable living. Analyze each viewpoint and take a stand. Give specific reasons for your position.

Even from a brief glance to different people's lifestyles we can simply grasp this fact that people practically show different attitudes toward earning money; although they might come up with a spontaneous response, often considered as a cliche, which an easy life is preferred. In fact, some people dedicate their life to earn extra money even if they have saved enough for whole life of their heirs. On the other hand, some people try to enjoy their life instead of wasting it to earn money.

I strongly believe that people whose main concern is money underestimate the value of an ultimately crucial factor; peace of mind. No price can be assigned to a bit of calmness if the caustic effect of stress is taken into consideration. So it can be an inappropriate trade if we lose our serenity to gain more money.

Aside from composure, another important point which should not be overlooked is that we can think about much more laudable ambitions when we are not obsessed with money all the time. Science and art are just two instances of what we can gain instead of extra money. The time which is spent on business can be spent in schools, and galleries in order to enrich our lives with science and art instead of wasting it for accumulating wealth.

The above-mentioned points are not the only accomplishments of an easy lifestyle; when we do not waste our time for earning extra money we have enough time to enjoy our lives. In fact this is the real aim of gaining money. We do anything to enhance our lives to enjoy it more so why should we forget this fact when it comes to money.

Taking all these factors into account, we readily can draw this conclusion: the things you own end up owning you, which means when one works round the clock for twenty years to purchase a house, the house, actually, owns him.
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The limits of my language are the limits of my universe.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

[Yamilet]

Great essay. I just have a question for you.
Isn't better for you to write 4 paragraphs instead of 6, but make de body of the essay larger? Or is it ok to write it your way on the test?

I think people work all their lives for money, they forget to live their lives, and by the time they realize this
they are old people who yes, have a lot of money, but at this point of their lives,
that money cannot bring back their time, they have wasted their lives for money, and now that they've got the money, they want their lives back.
It is important to always have in mind that we live just one life, and we should enjoy it to its fullest.
Of course we all want a good life, but everything in moderation.
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Yamilet

[Richard]

.
Hi yamilet.
as far as I know;

According to the book "LONGMAN preparation course for the TOEFL test: iBT by DEBORAH PHILLIPS-2007", we should write four or five paragraphs.

1-Introduction, background information and our imagination. we should begin our introdution in the way that interest the reader in our topic.
2 or 3 paragraphs for supporting ideas which are expected to include reasons, details, advantages and disadvantages and comparisons and we should try to personalize our essay as much as possible.
1-conclusion that we have to summarize the main point of our discussion.

I get used to write 5 paragraphs. Here, yes, may be six paragraphs isn't in need and they are too short.
pretty good idea in your comment.
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The limits of my language are the limits of my universe.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

[Nzuahp]

Hi Richard,
I will be going in for the TOEFL exam in October and I need tips in order to write a good essay like yours.

Best regards
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Practice makes perfect