|
|
#2 (permalink) Fri Sep 11, 2009 9:52 am Essay: Employees should be required to provide smoking areas. Agree or disagr |
|
|
Hi. Good essay! I enjoyed, however, I have some points:
| Quincy wrote: |
Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Employees should be required to provide smoking areas for their employees who smoke cigarettes. Although smoking is harmful to health, a lot of people (ARE) still in the habit of smoking cigarette. Not only smoking is harmful for (TO) the smoker, but also to the people around them. That is why this habit often annoyed those who are not smoking. Therefore for me (from my point of view), (I BELIEVE THAT)employers should not provide smoking areas for their employees for several reasons.
It is mandatory for the employers to protect the health of their employees and reduce the smoking-related cost such as high risk of fire damage related to smoking. Smoke-free workplace reduce(S) significantly the amount of what they called second-hand tobacco smoke. This kind of policy actually encourages the employers who are smokers to quit smoking.
Another consideration is people who smoke take breaks during the working hour more often than those who are not (SMOKERS). This reduces the productivity on-the-job (reduces productivity on the job). When employers have mandated policy for a smoke-free environment and even discourage to smoke in the premise (ON THE PREMISES)-- of the building, this will keep the employees who are smokers to take break at the same time with other fellow employees only during lunch time.
The other reason is cost. In order to provide an ideal well-ventilated (AND NON-SMOKING) smoking area, employers will spend quite a sum of money, while this area will actually only serve the minority of the employers who are smokers. I think it is more profitable for the fund to be used for a smoking cessation program for the smokers instead. Cessation program is relatively low-cost and highly cost-effective.
After giving out the aforementioned considerations, I may conclude that employees should not be required to provide smoking areas for their employees because smoke-free (NON-SMOKING) environment have so many benefit such as creating saver (SAFER) environment in the workplace, improve worker’s health and also enhance the corporate image because nowadays there is a global trend toward safer,(AND) cleaner environment. |
You have used a lot of COMPOUND ADJECTIVES (such as; well-ventilated, cost-effective, low-cost, smoke-free, and second-hand) with a high degree of accuracy and I liked it. nice! :) and you're expected to study more about usage of "not only…but also" to use it more effective. ------------------------ Let me know whether you have any suggestions or you suppose that I'm wrong. Good luck. _________________ Global Marketing |
|
Richard I'm a Communicator ;-)

Joined: 01 Sep 2009 Posts: 1319 Location: Malaysia (at present)
|
|
#3 (permalink) Fri Sep 11, 2009 14:19 pm Essay: Employees should be required to provide smoking areas. Agree or disagr |
|
|
Quincy, I think you have your employees and employers mixed-up quite a lot in your essay.
Where are your facts to prove that smokers are in a minority in any place of work?
Your essay is acceptable only if it is not a figment of your imagination.
Quite a lot of errors in your text, but quite a good essay, all things considered.
Kitos. _________________ Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting. |
|
Kitosdad Language Coach

Joined: 04 Mar 2009 Posts: 13417 Location: ESSEN, Germany, (but English.)
|
 |
#4 (permalink) Fri Sep 11, 2009 18:43 pm Essay: Employees should be required to provide smoking areas. Agree or disagr |
|
|
| Kitosdad wrote: |
Quincy, I think you have your employees and employers mixed-up quite a lot in your essay.
Where are your facts to prove that smokers are in a minority in any place of work?
|
thanks ever so much for your help, I really appreciate it, Kitos. I just skimmed it in haste, but you gave quite helpful points. pretty Good. Hope to be like you after awhile. Good luck. _________________ Global Marketing |
|
Richard I'm a Communicator ;-)

Joined: 01 Sep 2009 Posts: 1319 Location: Malaysia (at present)
|
 |
#5 (permalink) Fri Sep 11, 2009 23:04 pm Essay: Employees should be required to provide smoking areas. Agree or disagree? |
|
|
Hi guys,
Thanks for proof-reading the essay. Yes, you both are right, many typhos, huh?
:oops:
I was trying to type it fast enough to get it finished in 30 minutes. That's how I got the employees and employers mixed up. I have taken the TOEFL test today, so it seems this will be the first and last essay to be posted. Phew!! :D |
|
Quincy New Member
Joined: 10 Sep 2009 Posts: 2
|
 |
|
| Where to learn a foreign language? | TOEFL® essay: The qualities of a good neighbor |