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#2 (permalink) Tue Sep 15, 2009 14:42 pm Television and its impact by tomaSito |
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That is a cracker of an essay for your first attempt Tomas.
A few grammatical errors, as you expected, but your insight as to the evils of TV are well-founded.
I thank you , and applaud you for this effort, and my hope is that you will continue to compose more and even better essays.
Well done Tomas. We are all proud to see you taking your first steps to becoming a regular contributor to this Forum.
Your friend, Kitos. _________________ Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting. |
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Kitosdad Language Coach

Joined: 04 Mar 2009 Posts: 13417 Location: ESSEN, Germany, (but English.)
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#3 (permalink) Tue Sep 15, 2009 15:05 pm Television and its impact by tomaSito |
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Hello kitos
Your comment about my essay shows that I made something. lol Yes, of course I was expecting for grammatical mistakes. I still have problems related with prepositions and some tenses. But I'm working for that. If you correct my mistakes you'll be helping me Kitos. :) _________________ Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
- Will Durant |
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Tomasito I'm here quite often ;-)

Joined: 23 Jun 2009 Posts: 492 Location: Mozambique
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#4 (permalink) Tue Sep 15, 2009 17:44 pm Television and its impact by tomaSito |
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Television,or TV in its abbreviated form, is one of the most important human inventions so far this passed century. It came into being after the 1st world war in the Unite States of America. The main purpose of this device was to provide information related to the war to American citizens. But today, this magic box is present in many families homes around the world and gives more than just information.
The menu is extensive. People can decide what they want to watch, science, news, sport, culture, movies, music and so on. You can access TV wherever you are at any time.
TV can offer everything you need. On the other hand, TV can make a bad impact on people's lives. . TV exerts a huge influence on people's minds, taking control of their brain. Sometimes the biggest TVs stations around the world manipulate the programmes and the news, in order to achieve their goals. Television can be compared with hypnosis, because both paralyze you brain activities. You don't have time to think when you are watching. In contrast TV thinks for you instead of your own brain. Children tend to give more importance to television than to school. The effects of this are worse results at school, and unpleasant behavior within society.
The effects of TV reflect what we are. The sexuality is no more a matter solely for adults, it's a matter for teenagers too, that's because the TV exposure to sex is without boundaries. The consequence: The teenagers want to investigate this mystery.
What people should do to minimize the terrible impact of the television is to reduce the time they sit in front of TV, or turn it off. The number of people involved in drugs and crime is increasing dramatically. There are many girls of fifteen years of age who are pregnant. Many of these problems are caused by television's influence. Let's bring back the good values that the TV has stolen from us.
“Make sure that you are programming your brain, not your TV”.
tomaSito[/quote]
Still a good essay Tomas, without my corrections. I like the message it delivers. _________________ Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting. |
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Kitosdad Language Coach

Joined: 04 Mar 2009 Posts: 13417 Location: ESSEN, Germany, (but English.)
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#5 (permalink) Tue Sep 15, 2009 18:46 pm Television and its impact by tomaSito |
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I have to thank you Kitos for the correction you made. It's now perfect. Thank you for your complains. I'll try to write more essays in different themes/issues. Thank you teacher... :wink: _________________ Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
- Will Durant |
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Tomasito I'm here quite often ;-)

Joined: 23 Jun 2009 Posts: 492 Location: Mozambique
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#6 (permalink) Tue Sep 15, 2009 19:36 pm Television and its impact by tomaSito |
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Tomas, I am not a teacher. Simply a helpful friend.
Kitos. _________________ Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting. |
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Kitosdad Language Coach

Joined: 04 Mar 2009 Posts: 13417 Location: ESSEN, Germany, (but English.)
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#7 (permalink) Tue Sep 15, 2009 20:47 pm Television and its impact by tomaSito |
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Hi Tomasito. Kitos helps you perfect your essay. Thank you for your essay anyway. Good luck. _________________ Global Marketing |
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Richard I'm a Communicator ;-)

Joined: 01 Sep 2009 Posts: 1319 Location: Malaysia (at present)
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#8 (permalink) Wed Sep 16, 2009 0:27 am Television and its impact by tomaSito |
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Tomasito, since this is your first attempt I personally think you did a great job. My first essay was not as good as yours. I give you an idea that Kitos gave to me once, Go back after you write your essay, maybe the day after, or few hours after, revise it once more you will then find some mistakes. I started to do this, well right now i'm not doing it because i'm short of time, but it did help me a bit in the past. Good luck to you, and don't be shy to write about any subject, we learn from our mistakes and more importantly through our experiences, practice practice and you will get it right, never ever give up, and you will get there. _________________ Yamilet |
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Yamilet I'm here quite often ;-)

Joined: 24 Jul 2009 Posts: 132 Location: Canada
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#9 (permalink) Wed Sep 16, 2009 7:45 am Television and its impact by tomaSito |
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| Richard_Jack.c wrote: |
Hi Tomasito. Kitos helps you perfect your essay. Thank you for your essay anyway. Good luck. |
I thank you for your comments Richard! :wink: _________________ Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
- Will Durant |
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Tomasito I'm here quite often ;-)

Joined: 23 Jun 2009 Posts: 492 Location: Mozambique
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#10 (permalink) Wed Sep 16, 2009 8:05 am Television and its impact by tomaSito |
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Hi Yamilet!
Thank you for your excellent advice.. To make a revision before publish an essay it's indeed important. I'll follow your suggestions.
Thank you. _________________ Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
- Will Durant |
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Tomasito I'm here quite often ;-)

Joined: 23 Jun 2009 Posts: 492 Location: Mozambique
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#11 (permalink) Wed Sep 16, 2009 8:23 am Television and its impact by tomaSito |
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| Kitosdad wrote: |
Tomas, I am not a teacher. Simply a helpful friend.
Kitos. |
you could be a good teacher... :wink: _________________ Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
- Will Durant |
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Tomasito I'm here quite often ;-)

Joined: 23 Jun 2009 Posts: 492 Location: Mozambique
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