TOEFL® essay: Learn by yourself or with a teacher?

[Richard]

Some people believe that whether we need a teacher or not depends on circumstances in which we need help. However, from my point of view, we need teacher ever since we are born.

In the first place, in some cases, in particular, it might be immensely frustrating for us to have a library research or read a lot of magazines or books to find out what the answer is. I do believe that the solution lies in having someone as a teacher to guide us. In this way we can simply know what we need. Moreover, a teacher could make a complex understandable for us.

In the second place, since a teacher is more experienced than us, her or his advice could be helpful if they are applied bye us. Teachers could provide a blueprint and give us helpful hints and guidelines. Furthermore, not only will they evaluate our studying process and tell us after figuring out what our weaknesses are but they also will equip us with some insightful views over the whole subject and much rewarding experience in overcoming difficulties of the subject.

In addition, even from a brief glance to different people's lifestyles we can simply grasp this fact that everyone believes having a teacher all times is a brilliant Idea. Take selfless parents for example. From time to time, you can see some parents that despite their less-income lifestyle, supports their children financially to have a good teacher, get into university or even have a tutor.

Studying on our own, on the other hand, could make us feel independent. In spite of the fact that has just been mentioned, it is my invincible belief that studying by ourselves could be more effective than overly rely on a teacher. On the other word: “practice makes perfect."
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I wrote it in haste so I believe that it is not a perfect essay.
My friends!
can anyone make it beautiful or develop it or I have to develop it next time?
any comment would be appreciated.

TOEFL listening lectures: A university lecture by a professor of Social History
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Global Marketing

[Kitosdad]

Good morning Richard. I have little spare time today, but I will make time to help improve this later today.

Kitos.
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Kitosdad]

Some people believe that whether we need a teacher or not depends on the specific areas in which we need help. However, from my point of view, we need a teacher from the day we are born.

In the first place, in some cases in particular, it might be immensely frustrating for us to have to do a library research or read a lot of magazines or books to find out what the solution to the problem that we are seeking is.
I do believe that the solution lies in having someone as a teacher to guide us.
In this way we can simply know what it is we need.
Moreover, a teacher could make a complex problem understandable for us.

In the second place, since a teacher is more experienced than we, his or her advice could be helpful if it is applied intelligently by us.
A teacher can provide us with a blueprint, and give us helpful hints and guidelines.

Furthermore, not only will they evaluate our studying process and tell us, after figuring out what our weaknesses are, but they also will equip us with some insightful views over the whole subject, and offer their experience in overcoming difficulties of the particular subject.

In addition, even from a brief glance at different people's lifestyles, we can simply grasp the fact that everyone believes having a teacher at all times is a brilliant idea.

Take selfless parents for example. From time to time, you can see some parents that despite their less-income lifestyle, support their children financially to have a good teacher, get into university or even have a private tutor.

Studying on our own, on the other hand, could make us feel independent.
In spite of the facts that have just been mentioned, it is my honest belief that studying by ourselves could be more effective than overly relying on a teacher.

In other words: “practice makes perfect."

You improve with each essay Richard.Keep up the good work.

Kitos.
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Richard]

Hi my friend.
Thanks for making corrections. I'll take your advice.
It's a shame that I made such a disgraceful mistake :oops: or may be a typo. :D
(I knew;on the other hand, In other word, are correct.)
I was just about rewrite it, you did me a favor.
I don't know what I can do for you in return.
I'd be glad to if you have time and correct any mistakes you may find in my essays or writings the following days.'Bless!'
many thanks.
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Global Marketing