Imagine that you have received some land to use as you wish.

[Silky]

Imagine that you have received some land to use as you wish. How would you use this land? Use specific details to explain your answer.

Someone can review my TOEFL essay, please.

In the world everybody has different opinion. There are lots of things you can do for best use of that land. Owning a land is a very big opportunity to help lots of people. As far as I think what will be the real use of that land, I would prefer to setup some small business development center. I would like to explain why I am decided to set-up small business center. Since my childhood, I always try to help others as much as possible.

Small business center would provide me good opportunity to start-up something. I would be able to give some jobs to others. Even though in the staring it will be not very big. As I heard always "A Small change can Make Big Difference”, would be my reason behind setting up small business center. Thinking back to my childhood, I have always tried to find opportunities to help others. Received land will be good resource for me. I would able to provide small no of jobs to other in starting.

Imagine if small center would grow-up, eventually you have chance to help more people. You would be able to get profit from business and you could covert it in big venture. In this way large number of people can get advantage. All the big companies in the world are the inspiration for me. Even I don’t want take any money from that business. I could easily use company profit for other purpose. I would be able to make other helpful amities like hospitals and schools.

I think success is making a difference, not making money. When I die I will not be happy unless I can look back at my life and feel like I have changed the world for the better in some small way. However, I believe it is important for each of us to follow our hearts, not our pocketbooks, and this is why I would use the land as I've outlined above.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation in a professor's office between a professor and a student

[Kleopatra]

hi every1, MY NAME IS AYNUR ,FROM AZERBAIJAN

it s my 1st essay here, i m gonna take an exam in december 2009 or january 2010,
it depends on your comments,if my essay is good enough to take an exam i can take it, if i have many mistakes especially structure problems or grammar,
plzzz correct them and help me . i ll look forward to your approach to my essay. by the way, give my essay point out of 5 ,

THANKS IN ADVANCE

I would like to use my land for something that many people can benefit. Right now my country needs juice production, so that’s building a factory to produce juice would be relevant for me and for the demand of our population. Doing this I can make a profit and increase domestic juice production. In addition I can help to reduce the unemployment..

There are loads of fruit in our regions that are not sold, because fruit itself is more than people’s demand. That’s why it begins to rot in gardens or is exported to foreign countries. However I would like to prevent of this process and help to cover the juice need in my country by opening a factory.

Although we have more fruit sources but we have not any juice productions for this. As a result we import the juice from other countries. We don’t know the ingredient of these juice that made in abroad, there may be fraudulent or fake substance or color that is dangerous for our health. Meanwhile there can be added some other substances to lengthen the expiration date of juice. One way or another ,they are not produced in our country and I don’t rely on foreign food production because of mutation, dangerous diseases and so forth. So Domestic production is more guaranteed. It would be natural and more healthier for people as well. In addition it would decrease dependency on foreign countries and would increase domestic production. I m sure that my factory would have great role to realize this process .

Now coming to the importance for unemployment of this factory. There are numberless people that are out of the work in my town. In this case this factory would be constant workplace at least, for some part of them. Because work is most essential deficiency of many families in today’s world. If this factory would reduce unemployment a bit, it had more benefit to society.

Consequently, it is crucial to use a given place or land to benefit both owner and population. To provide people with more qualified product, to open a workplace and eventually to get money form all of these would be desirable for me. I m sure that with this way I can use my land more relevant than other uses.

[Kitosdad]

Everyone in the world has their own opinion.
There are MANY things THAT you COULD do TO MAKE best use of that land.
Owning land is YOUR opportunity to help lots of OTHER people.

IF IT WERE MY LAND I would prefer to set-up some small business development center. I would like to explain why I decided to set-up THIS small business center.
EVER since my childhood, I HAVE ALWAYS DREAMED OF helpING others as much as possible.

A small business center would provide me WITH A good opportunity to start-up something. I would be able to PROVIDE WORK OPPORTUNITIES to others, even though in the starting STAGES it WOULD not be very big.
As I HAVE OFTEN heard; "A Small change can A Make Big Difference”. THAT would be my reason behind setting up MY small business center.

Thinking back to my childhood, I have always tried to find opportunities to help others. ReceivING THIS land WOULD be A good resource for me. I would BE able to provide A small NUMBER of jobs to otherS RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING.

Imagine if MY small center WERE TO BLOSSOM! Eventually I WOULD have THE chance to help EVEN/MANY more people. I would be able to MAKE A profit from THIS business and THEN could coNvert it inTO AN EVEN bigGER venture.

In this way A large number of people COULD GAIN advantage FROM MY VENTURE.
All OF the big companies in the world are AN inspiration TO me.
Even IF I DIDN'T want take any money from that business, I could STILL easily use THE company's profit for other purposes.
I would be able to CREATE other helpful amities, like hospitals and schools.

I TRULY BELIEVE THAT success is making a difference, not making money.
When I die I will not be happy unless I can look back at my life and feel THAT I have changed the world for the better in some small way. However, I believe it is important for each of us to follow our hearts, not our pocketbooks, and this is why I would use the land as I've outlined above.
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Great sentiments and a good essay. Kitos.
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Kleopatra]

plzzz check my essay as well, please :(((

[Kitosdad]

Kleopatra, I will do so willingly, but PLEASE remember that you should start a New Topic whenever you post an essay, otherwise your work may well be overlooked.

New essay .................. New post. OK?.

Kitos.
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Kitosdad]

Hi every1, MY NAME IS AYNUR ,FROM AZERBAIJAN

it s my 1st essay here, i m gonna take an exam in december 2009 or january 2010,
it depends on your comments,if my essay is good enough to take an exam i can take it, if i have many mistakes especially structure problems or grammar,
plzzz correct them and help me . i ll look forward to your approach to my essay. by the way, give my essay point out of 5 ,

THANKS IN ADVANCE

I would like to use my land for something that WOULD BENEFIT many people.
Right now my country needs juice production, so that MEANS building a factory to PROCESS THE juice. THIS would be A VERY relevant ACTION FOR ME TO TAKE, and IT WOULD HELP satisfy the demand of our population. Doing this I WOULD HOPEFULLY make a profit and increase domestic juice production. In addition IT WOULD HELP IN REDUCING UNEMPLOYMENT

There are HUGE AMOUNTS of fruit in our regions that are not sold, because THE AMOUNT OF fruit is more than people’s demand. That’s why it begins to rot in gardens or is exported to foreign countries.
However I would like to prevent this PRACTICE and PERHAPS help to cover the juice SHORTAGE in my country by opening a factory TO PROCESS THIS EXCESS GROWTH.

Although we have more fruit sources, we DO NOThave THE MEANS TO PROCESS IT,AND
as a result we Have to import juice from other countries.
We don’t know the ingredient of these juice that ARE made abroad.
THERE may be fraudulent or fake substanceS or colorING that is dangerous for our health.
Meanwhile there can be added some other substances to lengthen the expiration date of juice. One way or another, they are not BEING produced in our country and I don’t rely on foreign food production because of mutation, dangerous diseases and so forth.

So, domestic production is more guaranteed AND TRUSTED. It would be natural and more healthier for people as well.
In addition it would decrease OUR dependency on foreign countries and would increase OUR OWN domestic production. I'm sure that my factory would have A great role to PLAY IN this process .

Now, coming to the importance OF unemployment TO this factory. There are numberless people that are out of the work in my town. In this case this factory would be A constant SOURCE OF EMPLOYMENT, at least, for some of them, because work is THE most essential REQUIREMENT of many families in today’s world. If this factory COULD reduce unemployment a LITTLE, it WOULD BE OF GREAT benefit to OUR society.

Consequently, it is crucial to use a given PIECE OF land to THE benefit OF both THE owner and THE population. To provide people with more GUARANTEED productS, to open a workplace and eventually to get money FROM all of these would be SATISFYING TO me. I'm sure that IN this way I can use my land IN A more relevant WAY than other uses.
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A worthwhile venture. (3)

Kitos.
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Kleopatra]

thanksssss Kitosdad. Okay SORRY, but i dont know how to open new topic here :(

I see i have a lot of mistakes,what would be your advice to me ? :(

[Kleopatra]

ohh i saw now how to start new topic :)

[Kitosdad]

:) :) That's one mistake cured then. :)

Every fault you have can be easily cured. READ, read, read, ALOUD. This will improve EVERYTHING, all in one fell swoop.
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.