In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students.

[Nzuahp]

In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.

Recently, it has been witness that in most countries, a lot of teenagers are having jobs while they are still students. Though some people think that it is not a good idea, I will be giving points in the following paragraphs base on the growth of technology and the finacial problems teeanagers face while at school to support the idea.

First and foremost, the grow of technoloy has led to the creation of technical institutions and companies all over the world. In most of these institutions, students are being taught more of theory than practicals. so they need the services of companies to ameriorate their technical skills. For example, when I was in my second year in the electrical department in high school at the age of sixteen, almost everything was taught in theory and very less practicals. We were fed with names of appliances and instruments but none could be seen physically. During this period an electrica engineering company was open in the city where I was school and I was fortunate to have a job there which enabled me to effect all that was done in theory practically and today I am proud to one of the best electrical engineer in our community thanks to the experience I acquired in that company.

Secondly, most teenage students face a lot of financial difficulties while at school and they are left to decide only on whether to drop from school or to acquire a job that will help to solve this problem. My brother told me that when he was in his teenage age at school my parents fell sick and he had no other option that to drop from school since they were financially down but for the love of school he had, he decided to acquire a part time job which enabled him to pay his school tuition and other basic necessities he needed. Without this job he would have dropped out from school and will not be whom he is today.

In summary, one can come to a conclusion that teenagers having jobs while they are still at school will help to address most of their financial difficulties and to effect all that is taught in theory in practice. This his while I strongly reccommend that teenage students should have jobs while they are still in school.

Your commends and corrections are highly recommended.
Thanks in advance.

TOEFL listening discussions: What position does Cindy play?
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[Kitosdad]

Recently, it has been witness(ed) that in most countries, a lot of teenagers are (taking) jobs while they are still students. Though some people think that it is not a good idea, I will be giving points in the following paragraphs base(d) on the growth of technology and (also in regard to) the financial problems teenagers face while at school, to support the idea.

First and foremost, the grow(th) in technolo(g)y has led to the creation of technical institutions and companies all over the world.
In most of these institutions, students are being taught more of theory than practicals. So they need the services of companies to ameriorate their technical skills.

For example, when I was in my second year in the electrical department in high school at the age of sixteen, almost everything was taught in theory and very (little about) practicals.
We were fed with names of appliances and instruments, but none could be seen physically.
During this period an electrica(l) engineering company was open(ed) in the city where I was (at) school, and I was fortunate (enough)to (obtain) a job there which enabled me to (practice all that I had been taught in theory at my high school), and today I am proud to one of the best electrical engineer(s) in our community, thanks to the experience I acquired in that company.

Secondly, most teenage students face a lot of financial difficulties while at school, and they are left to decide whether to drop (out of) school or to acquire a job that will help to solve this problem.

My brother told me that when he was in his teenage (years) at school my parents fell sick and he had no option (other than) to drop (out of) school, since they were financially (destitute), but for the love of the school he had, he decided to acquire a part time job, which enabled him to pay his school tuition and other basic necessities.
Without this job he would have dropped out (of) school and (would) not be who he is today.

In summary, one can (arrive at the) conclusion that teenagers having jobs while they are still at school, will help to address most of their financial difficulties, and to effect all that is taught in theory and in practice.

This (is why) I strongly reccommend that teenage students should have jobs while they are still in school.
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[Nzuahp]

Hello Kitosdad,
Thank you very much for stopping by to correct my essay. I am short of words to express my satisfaction for the corrections you have made on my essay as it is greatly going to help me in the preceding ones.
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Practice makes perfect.