TOEFL® essay: Some people believe that success in life comes by taking chances

[Sandy_321]

Some people believe that success in life comes by taking chances and risks while others think that sucess comes from careful planning.In my opinion sucess comes by careful planning.This is because if we plan carefully we tend to make less mistakes and thus sucess can be attained.

Firstly for any work we do we need proper planning.With out planning we cannot progress positively and can be in precarious situation.Its like moving forward with your eyes closed.One example to quote is government projects in a developing countries like widening of roads,construction of flyovers etc which are undegoing.

They are all being done for years with out proper planning. Day after day government keep changing priorities,eventually those projects become never ending.
Instead government should follow particular plan where all the projects undertaken should be completed by particular deadline.Another example is preparation of olympics stadium for 2010 olympics.The whole project is being done with out proper planning.Its only now government is speeding up things to meet 2010 deadline.If our government could have followed proper plan this dire situation wouldn't have occured.

Another reason i think careful planning should be done is that with out planning things will end up differntly.Most recent example comes from a developing country.There a construction is undergoing with out proper plan.Since it is out of plan all credentials are not taken in to account.On one rainy day total building collapsed causing mayhem.Investigations reported that the place where builiding is done is very close to flyover and movement of vehicles affected the base of building.So one must be careful planning for sucess.

Finally i think that some people may beilieve in taking risks for sucess but sucess won't be gauranteed because we are gambling.In other case if we do proper planning we have 100% chances of getting sucess.

[Kitosdad]

Firstly, for any work (that) we do (needs to be done with) proper planning.
(Without) planning we cannot progress positively and can (sometimes)(find ourselves) in precarious situation(s).
It's like moving forward with your eyes closed.

(Examples to quote are) government projects in developing countries, like widening of roads,construction of flyovers etc which are (ongoing).
They (have been building) for years (without any) proper planning.
Day after day (the) government keep(s) changing priorities. (E)ventually those projects become never- ending.

Instead government(s) should follow (a) particular plan, where all of the projects undertaken should be completed by (a) particular deadline.

Another example is (the) preparation of (an)Olympics stadium for (the) 2010 Olympics.
The whole project is being(undertaken) (without any) proper planning.
It's only now (that the) government (are) speeding up things to meet 2010 deadline.
If our government could have followed (a) proper plan this dire situation wouldn't have (arisen).

Another reason (I) think careful planning should be done, is that (without) (careful) planning things will end up differ(e)ntly.
(The) most recent example comes from a developing country.
There a construction is (ongoing) (without a) proper plan.
Since it is (going ahead without a)plan, all (possibilities) (have not been) taken (into) account.
(O)ne rainy day (a) total building collapsed causing mayhem.
Investigations (revealed) that the place where (the) builiding (was constructed)(was) very close to (a) flyover and (that the) movement of vehicles affected the base of the building. So one must be (very) careful (when) planning for success.

Finally (I) think that some people may (believe) in taking risks for suc(c)ess, but suc(c)ess won't be guaranteed (when you take such a gamble.)
In other case(s), if we do proper planning, we have (a) 100% chance of (being successful).
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I liked it.

Kitos.
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If you need me, I'm here.

[Sandy_321]

Hi Kitos,

Thank you very much for reviewing.

Sandeep.