The TOEFL® essay: Do you preper to study alone or to study in group?

[Superboy0802]

Please edit this essay for me. I'm so grateful

Topic: Some students prefer to study alone. Others prefer to study with a group of students. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

ESSAY:

Each of people has a particular style of studying. Some people prefer to study alone while others prefer to study with a group of students. Each of styles of studying, certainly, has particular advantages. On my opinion, I like to study alone due to of three reasons.

For the first reason, I’m a kind of shy people which makes me afraid of studying in a group. For instance, it is so embarrassing to me if one girl asks a question to which I can not answer. In this case, I’m so confused that I can’t focus on my studying during that day. Therefore, it is better for me to find a corner and study alone.

That I don’t want to be disturbed is another important reason why I like to study alone. I once try studying in a group of students at my friend’s house. At first, we have focused intensively our attention on studying for ten minutes. Then, two girls started to talk together about a necklace which other girl is wearing. When more people joined conversation, more topics were created. I and some other boys can’t force these unconscious people to stop the conversation although we felt very unpleasant. Since that time, I, certainly, don’t want to study in any group.

Final, I tent to study alone due to the habit with which I always listen to music while studying. Especially, the louder the music is, the more I can focus my attention. Even my father and my brother somtimes complain when the music is so loud. If a friend comes to my home to study with me, he barely asks me to turn down music, which makes me uncomfortable. Therefore, I prefer to study alone, which make I easily focus my attention with music.

In summary, I prefer to study alone mainly due to I’m afraid of answering difficult question of other people. Moreover, that I hate to be disturbed when some students chat together is another reason. On the other hand, if some students study at my home, I will be complained due to my habit of listening loud music.

TOEFL listening lectures: How do botanists define a seed?

[Kitosdad]

(Every person has their own( particular style) of studying. Some people prefer to study alone, while others prefer to study with a group of students. Each (style) of studying, certainly has particular advantages. (In) my opinion, I like to study alone (for the following) three reasons.

First; I’m a shy (person) which makes me afraid of studying in a group.
For instance, it is so embarrassing (for)me if one girl asks a question to which I (cannot) answer. In this case, I’m so confused that I can’t focus on my studying during that day. Therefore, it is better for me to find a corner and study alone.

That I don’t want to be disturbed is another important reason why I like to study alone. I once (tried) studying in a group of students at my friend’s house.
At first, we focused intensively on studying for ten minutes.
Then, two girls started to talk together about a necklace which (another girl was) wearing.
When more people joined (the) conversation, more topics were created.
I and some other boys can’t force these (unconcerned) people to stop the conversation although we felt very unpleasant.
(Ever) since that time, I certainly don’t want to study in any group (again).

Finally, I (tend) to study alone due to (my habit of listening) to music while studying. Especially, the louder the music is, the more I can focus my attention.
Even my father and my brother sometimes complain when the music is so loud.

If a friend comes to my home to study with me, he (rarely) asks me to turn down (the)music, which makes me uncomfortable. Therefore, I prefer to study alone, which (means) I easily focus my attention with music.

In summary, I prefer to study alone mainly due to I’m afraid of answering difficult question of other people.
Moreover, that I hate to be disturbed when some students chat together.

On the other hand, if some students study in my home,( they will surely complain about) my habit of listening (to) loud music.
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Better.
Think what you are going to say BEFORE writing. Itemise your topics, and THEN begin.

Kitos.
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Carmen Laura]

hi I think we have the same way of studying. I'm also shy therefore i like to study alone. I can't hear a single sound because that disturbs my concentration and i hate to answer difficult questions it makes me nervous and i can't answer. What can I do about that, it really annoys me. I noticed that your essay has a few gramatical mistakes but nothing that you can't correct. And it seems to me that you are trying to imply that girls are the ones who disturb group studies. But anyway I think it is reasonable essay.
keep up the good work.
Carmen Laura
Mozambique

[Richard]

Hi Superboy0802
Thank you Kitos. I don't like to just follow suit, you are perfect.

Superboy0802 (good one)
If I were you I'd have written:
outlines:
p1-introduction= which one should we choose? what overwhelming majority of people/students prefer to do. my personal beliefs which is study in groups rather than study on my own

p2-supporting paragraph 1study in a grope in proportion to study on your own-mentioning their advantages and disadvantages in brief

p3-supporting paragraph 2being able to work effectively in teams is one of the most significant and valued skills in today's work world. therefore, since teaming up up with peers for learning and having pen-pals contribute to improve your team work ability..........
p4-supporting paragraph 3 you can learn from your friends something you haven't picked up in the class or vice versa
p5-conclusion ending my essay with choosing my certain position....

good luck.
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[Naiverock]

I appreciate this essay without consideration of grammatical errors.
Since the topic is asking for your opinion and preference, I think it's a success in article construction and expression of main ideas, though I disagree with all the three reasons.
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It will sure be a lot of fun here to make friends with you guys.