TOEFL® essay: To finish a project completely or not

[Bridgehan]

Please help me to correct my essay.. thanks a lot!! I'm not good at grammar and writing....

Some people prefer to finish a project completely before starting another. Others prefer to do two or several projects at the same time. Which way would you prefer?

Modern society become more and more complex, how to improve efficiency is a big problem people faced. Nowadays, the choices of people are variety. The question has been raised, “which is the best way to improving efficiency? Finishing a project completely before starting another or doing two or several projects at the same time? As far as I’m concerned, to finish a project completely before starting another is a superior choice because they have a number of advantages over to do several projects at same time.

Firstly, to finish a project one by one help people concentrate in one thing. In contrast, to do several tasks at same time is difficult because it interfere the focus of people. Take my experience for example, being a high school student, what I have to deal with is more than classes and homework, I have to juggle between studies, sports and various activities. Here is a typical school day. I have to attend the classes in geometry, history and English. And there is the training of the school basketball team I have to go. And I have to write a short essay about global warming for school magazine. What’s more, there are two lists of English words to memorize.

I can think about how to write essay when I am playing basketball, write it in the geometry class and memorize the English words in the history class so that I can finish them all faster. It looks more efficiency, however, in fact I learn nothing from the classes in geometry, history and English and the quality of essay is low. If I finish them one by one, I will focus on them better, everything will be finish better.
Secondly, to finish project completely before starting another help people avoid mistakes. To finish one task is easier than deal with multiple tasks, people finish it step by step, the ability to control one thing is better than to several. For example, when you play basketball, pat one ball is easy, but how about pat two or three? You will find that it is difficult to control and balls always run away.

Thirdly, to finish project one by one help people have more confidence. In contrast, to do several projects at same time will have some negative effects on confidence. The quality is higher if you finish your work one by one so that people will give your work a highly speaking, you will feel happy about it. I still remember, Confucius, one of the greatest Chinese philosophers, commented, “the more you want, the more failure you have.” I believe his words and I think to make our works better and be success is our inspirations, to finish work completely before starting another have more possibility to success. It helps you have more confidence.

Admittedly, to finish one by one might has some negative effects under any circumstances. For instance, if you focus on one thing for a long time you will fell boring and tired, so you can’t finish it well. However, you can have a break such as drinking a cup of coffee or doing some exercises if you fell tired, it is safe to say that to finish project one by one is a superior choice.

In short, it is better to finish project completely before starting another because its help us concentrate better, avoid mistakes and bring more confidence.

[Kitosdad]

Modern society (has) become more and more complex.
(H)ow to improve efficiency is a big problem people(face).
Nowadays, the choices of people are (varied).

The question has been raised, “which is the best way to (improve) efficiency?
Finishing a project completely before starting another, or doing two or several projects at the same time?
As far as I’m concerned, to finish a project completely before starting another is a superior choice, because (it has) a number of advantages over (doing) several projects at same time.
Firstly, to finish (projects) one by one help(s) people (to) concentrate (on) one thing.
In contrast, to do several tasks at same time is difficult because it interfere(s) (with) the focus of people.
Take my experience for example; (B)eing a high school student, what I have to deal with is more than classes and homework, I have to juggle between studies, sports and various activities.
Here is a typical school day.

I have to attend classes in geometry, history and English.
And (then) there is training (with) the school basketball team. I have to go.
I have to write a short essay about global warming for (the) school magazine.

What’s more, there are two lists of English words to memorize.
I can think about how to write (an) essay when I am playing basketball, write it in the geometry class and memorize the English words in the history class so that I can finish them all faster.
It looks more (efficient), however, in fact I learn nothing from the classes in geometry, history and English, and the quality of (the)essay is low.
If I finish them one by one, I will focus on them better, everything will be finish(ed) better.

Secondly, to finish (a) project completely before starting another help(s) people avoid mistakes.
To finish one task is easier than deal(ing) with multiple tasks.
(P)eople finish it step by step.
(T)he ability to control one thing is better than (controlling) several.

For example, when you play basketball, (to) pat one ball is easy, but how about (patting) two or three? You will find that it (will be) difficult to control and (the) balls always run away.

Thirdly, to finish project(s) one by one help(s) people have more confidence.
In contrast, to do several projects at same time will have some negative effects on confidence.
The quality is higher if you finish your work one by one, so that people will give your work a highly speaking,?????????? you will feel happy about it.
I still remember Confucius, one of the greatest Chinese philosophers, commented, “the more you want, the more failure you have.”
I believe his words, and I think to make our (work) better and (to) be (a) success is our inspiration.
(Finishing) work completely before starting another (project) ha(s) more possibility to succe(ed). It helps you have more confidence.

Admittedly, to finish one by one might has some negative effects under any circumstances.
For instance, if you focus on one thing for a long time you will (feel bored) and tired, so you (won't) finish it well.
However, you can have a break such as drinking a cup of coffee, or doing some exercises if you (feel) tired.
It is safe to say that to finish project one by one is a superior choice.

In short, it is better to finish (a) project completely before starting another because it help(s) us concentrate better, (helps avoiding making) mistakes and bring(s) more confidence.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sorry Bridgehan, I found your essay too repetitive. You also need to learn when to start a new sentence, instead of just writing on and on. I'm sure your next effort will be much better.

Kitos.
_________________
If you need me, I'm here.

[Bridgehan]

:Pthanks.. this is my first time to post a topic in this forum. i will practice writing harder