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TOEFLŪ essay: Lessons from difficul experiences



 
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TOEFL essay: Lessons from difficul experiences #1 (permalink) Tue Oct 20, 2009 13:23 pm   TOEFL essay: Lessons from difficul experiences
 

Topic:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Most experiences in our lives that seemed difficult at the time become valuable lessons for the future. Use reasons and specific.

My essay:

Nobody can avoid difficult experiences in their lives. Some people say that they should forget these experiences because they are useless to them. On the other hand, others think that these experiences become valuable lessons for future so that we should remember them. In my opinion, I also believe that difficult experiences become valuable lessons because of three following reasons.

For the first reason, experiencing a difficulty problem helps me know how to avoid failure or risk in future. For example, I have ever loss my motorbike because I was so careless that I parked my motorbike in garden without locking it. Then I must go to university by bike during five months. This experience makes me always watchful in every case.

Furthermore, we will more respect our current lives when we experience a certain difficulty. For instance, my uncle used to smoke and drink so much. Then, he suffered liver disease. He must experience a long time in hospital. At that time, he was so painful that he swore he will never drink and smoke again. After recovering, he respects his life more and works hardly to build happiness for his family.

Finally, we become more confident when going through a difficult experience. I once thought that I cannot learn French because I encountered so many difficulties when studying it. Fortunately, my friends and brothers encouraged me many times. Since I learned successfully skills of this language, I feel more confident to face other difficulties.

In summary, most difficult experiences become valuable lessons for future since we can know how to avoid risk, more respecting our lives and become more confident after each of these ones. I hope that more and more people will realize that learning a lesson after a difficulty is important

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Superboy0802
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TOEFL essay: Lessons from difficul experiences #2 (permalink) Tue Oct 20, 2009 14:02 pm   TOEFL essay: Lessons from difficul experiences
 

Quote:
Nobody can avoid difficult experiences in their lives. Some people say that they should forget these experiences because they are useless to them. (why not use 'on one hand', then...) On the other hand, others think that these experiences become valuable lessons for future so that we should remember them. In my opinion, I also believe that difficult experiences become valuable lessons because of three following reasons.

For the first reason, experiencing(the experience of solving or dealing with) a difficulty (difficult) problem helps me know how to avoid failure or risk in future. For example, I have ever loss (lost) my motorbike because I was so careless that I parked my motorbike in (the) garden without locking it. Then I must go to university by bike during five months.(I don't know exactly what you are telling) This experience makes me always watchful in every case.

Furthermore, we will more respect our current lives when we experience (after having fixed/solved )a certain difficulty. For instance, my uncle used to smoke and drink so much. Then, he suffered liver disease. He must experience(experienced) a long time in hospital. At that time, he was so painful that he swore he will (would) never drink and smoke again. After recovering(recovery), he respects his life more and works hardly(much more harder) to build(bring ... to) happiness for his family.

Finally, we become more confident when(after) going through a difficult experience. I once thought that I cannot(could not) learn(anyone can try to learn, maybe not master/grasp) French because I encountered so many difficulties when studying it. Fortunately, my friends and brothers encouraged me many times. (suggest you proceed the thread more natural) Since I learned successfully skills of this language, I feel more confident to face other difficulties.

In summary, most difficult experiences become valuable lessons for future since we can know how to avoid risk, more respecting(respect) our lives and become more confident after each of these ones. I hope that more and more people will realize that learning a lesson after (from) a difficulty is important


Your construction and supporting detail is really good. I like this essay.
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