Essay: The most important characteristic that a person can have to be successful

[Naiverock]

Topic:In your opinion, what is the most important characteristic that a person can have to be successful in life? Use specific reasons and examples from your experience to explain your answer.
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As far as I'm concerned, the most important characteristic of a person to be successful is thinking critically. Thinking critically means to think really hard and to finally find a solution for some specific problems based on the cause-consequence relation, not just a fair or good way to cope with them.

We are living in a world full of continuously expanding information and swiftly developing technology. It's often difficult to find a clear and explicit relation between a phenomena and its original causes. Facing such complicated problems, a lot of people choose to think out one possible solution hoping that things will work out smoothly. They have been too busy or too lazy to spend more time on thinking critically.

Take the students seats issue for example. In some high schools in China, some regulations are carried out that girls and boys should not sit together when in class. Let's think more about this. What the schools worry about is the possible underage sexual troubles. Will students fall in trouble with such things in class, or can the separate actions in school stop students from that kinds of troubles? Then we will think more critically and get to know that the essential action to help students is letting them know more about their body and their social responsibility, but not physical isolation.

Another important point I want to mention is that the so-called cause-consequence relation is not so easy to find. Some businessmen and scholars have been used to make a list of possible reasons, when coming up to a problem. Then they do a dig and interview, and eventually have a quick conclusion that these factors which happen to be almost there mid of such problems are the key reasons. I think this methodology is not all right, but usually leads to some ridiculous conclusion. We should think more critically. For example, though we see plane accidents happen a lot from the media, we can't make a conclusion that plane is the most terrible transportation. Thanks to the statistic data, we know going somewhere by air is still the safest way till now.

Anyway, in my opinion, thinking critically is the only way to get a credible reason that may be most near to the true if it really exists there. Anyone who want to be successful in their lives should respect the facts and think more critically. Anyone who want to make contributions to the human civilization should especially have a good grasp of this required skill--thinking critically.
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total:40 minutes
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[Sel]

Naiverock in my opinion it's quite good however, in exam do we have 40 minutes or 20 minutes?

[Naiverock]

20 minutes for integrated writing
30 minutes for independent writing
I still find 30m not enough for me to finish an essay.
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[Richard]

Hi Naiverock
I just skimmed it. Therefore, I have made some suggestions based on either what shortages I feel in your essay or some evident mistakes you have made.
between a phenomena (phenomenon)and its
from that(those) kinds of
eventually have(draw) a quick conclusion
I think this methodology(?? What did you mean? Method) is not all right,
Anyway,(to sum up or…)
Anyone who want(s) to be successful
Anyone who want(s) to
You could have come up with other points in addition to what you have mentioned in your essay. In my opinion, People who want to be successful should always be very honest about their abilities. Maybe holding up mirrors and occasionally ask themselves whether or not they are improving and make a comparison between their previous and their present time might be tremendously helpful. You could have used some adjectives like diligent, hardworking, and consulting with experts before making a momentous decision in order for making inform decisions or even introducing and explaining some other qualities, which people believe that a successful person should have, in brief. And then mentioning your own pints to enrich your essay and put some life into it.
Totally good, try to write in 30 minutes.
Let me know If you have any suggestions.
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The limits of my language are the limits of my universe.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

[Naiverock]

Richard_Jack, you have got a bright eye just like your head picture shows.
Thank you for your suggestion and correction.
Since the topic is about the most important one characteristic, I tried to proov the importance of the one characteristic clearly.
I should talked about the other characteristics in first or last paragraph, which could make my essay more convincible and more words of course.
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It will sure be a lot of fun here to make friends with you guys.