What is one important change about your hometown?

[Aghmore]

TOPIC: If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer


Unfortunately, in my town so many problems in traffic rules overtly can be seen which when any foreigner comes to this city he or she would find that a lot of preconceptions which have been inspired to him or her have encompassed the behavior of people, their viewpoints, and even the governing rules. Although it is too unlikely that I would be able to change some of conspicuous ones, if a marvelous power is bestowed to me, I would be so delighted to change people's behaviors in traffic rules in my city.

First of all, according to statistics of national traffic department, annually around eight times more than universal average accidents which resulted in death and irreversible injuries are recorded in my city. Unfortunately, in many families one can find relatives who have crippled, maimed, or passed away in road accident. For example, my grandfather was died in a harsh accident in a highway and lessee of my father's home too. It goes without saying that, those calamities need more heed, but the status quo is not in a mood that it is possible to resolve them soon. So, in my view, a power like power of supernatural superhero is needed to make big differences and I would be so grateful if this power is granted to me.

Secondly, heavy traffic as the other important consequences of being regardless to rules, have other problems such as pollution, immense fuel consumption, and also serious disturbances in municipal arrangements. No one is confidence to be in his or her work, school, or any places on time. Heavy subsidy of government which is financed on fuel is squandered inadvertently. Additionally, my city is one the famous cities in pollution. Behavioral changing might be terminated to resolve all of these predicaments.

Lastly, due to heedless mind of people to traffic rule, even strict ones have not any protection by sanction. In the other hand, no one would be responsible to do his or her duty as driver or walker in this indiscriminate situation. In other word, my city is suffering from irresponsibility, albeit there are strict traffic rules in society. As a results, heavy traffic can be seen in roads which so many times are wasted and also people who have trapped in the traffic would be nervous which its consequences could affect undesirably other realms of life. Changing this condition always has been one of my wishes indeed.

As a matter of fact, due to uncountable and severe difficulties in negative behaviors of people in traffic rules, I would do my best in changing those tendencies of course if I have an opportunity to make difference.

TOEFL listening discussions: Why has the student been taking statistics?

[Aghmore]

Hi
thanks in advance for your efforts for reviewing my essay.

[Kitosdad]

Yet again my friend, you have concentrated on sophisticated text at the expense of losing readers interest in your work.

The secret; Keep it simple, keep it flowing, keep it interesting.

Kitos.
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.