English Mistakes?

[Kathrin]

Hi,

First, a quick introduction: My name is Kathrin and I am currently majoring in English and History in a German Gymnasium in 12th grade. My English exam was returned to me today, and some things were marked as wrong which I thought were correct. I was wondering if you could maybe point out what exactly I did wrong, as my teacher hasn't been able/willing to give me satisfactory answers.
We were allowed to use both American and British English, though I tend to use American.

1. "Xuang-Trang Ho can be considered an extraordinary girl as she has managed to, against all odds, thwart her immigrant background."
Thwart was first marked as a spelling error. When I showed him my Oxford, according to which thwart was spelt correctly, he told me that thwart is too poetic and looks strange in the context. Is that the case?

2. "Trang came to the United States at age eleven (and ....)."
My expression "at age eleven" is wrong as it should be "at the age of eleven". However, I constantly hear "at age ..." in the news. Is this just okay in spoken English?

3. "The father, however, reminds him that sports are not going to help him make money (...)."
I seem to be missing a "to" in front of "make". I thought I am allowed to leave out this "to" since I already have one in front of "help"? Isn't both the form "to help somebody do something" and "to help somebody to do something" correct?

4. "For one, American children spend (...)"
"For one, outstanding school achievements (...)"
According to my teacher, it has to be "for one thing" in both cases.

5. "The statistics suggest that Asian students surpass their American peers in school."
He wants me to use "at" instead of "in". While I agree that "at" does sound better, is it "wrong" to say "in"?

Thank you so much for your help. I am not looking to improving my mark (I am perfectly happy with the one I recieved), but I was just wondering if these things were truly all wrong.

[Alan]

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Hi Kathrin,

Let me add my comments. 'Thwart' to me suggests obstruct in expressions like 'thwart your ambitions' 'thwart your plans' - both give the idea of putting something in the way of what you are trying to do and not allowing it to be fulfilled. I don't think it works in your sentence. Perhaps 'overcome' might work better. 'At the age of' is the expression I would use personally but I have often heard 'at age 11' used by American English speakers. 'Help me do it' and 'help me to do it' I would say are both acceptable. 'For one' on its own isn't complete and needs 'thing'. 'At school' suggests studying and 'in school' suggests physically being there.

By the way it would be great if you could make a contribution to our '20 seconds message' and tell us about your experiences of learning English in your school. You'll find it at: Speaking English for 20 seconds a day?

http://www.english-test.net/forum/forum33.html

Alan
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English as a Second Language
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