TOEFL® essay: Building a factory near a resident area

[Love_English0405]

Please check for my grammar, vocabulary and any comments about it will be welcomed. Thanks you in advance.

Topic 12: A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory. Explain your position.

We are living in an industrialized world where factories have grown every year and many communities are affected by that. If there is a factory built in my community, I will oppose it. There are so many reasons explained my disapproval.

For one thing, the new factory built here has a lot of disadvantages with our community. As we all know, where the factory is built, the environment is polluted because of the unawareness of the manager of the factory and the bad system of decomposing the garbage from the factory. For example, trash from the factory is thrown away and put into the river, dust and poisonous gas appears everywhere in the atmosphere and noisy cannot be avoided. All of these influence the life and the work of people who live around the factory. If they are running a business, especially restaurants, café, etc. there will be no more customers coming here, they are also afraid of the pollution here. Another serious problem is the health of the residents there. They breathe the polluted air everyday, sooner or later; it will cause some disease, especially respiratory problems. And in the future, the people here will have to move to another place to live.

Above are the disadvantages of this new factory. What about the advantages? Considering everything, we find that there is almost nothing which can be the advantages of the new factory. Maybe the only one pro is the company will compensate for the people here a large sum of money, which is very useful especially when your family is having financial problems.

Comparing the advantages and disadvantages of the construction of the new factory near the resident area, it is obvious that we shouldn’t let the company build their new factory here. Personally, I think that it will be better if there is an isolated area specialized in developing the industry so that every company can choose their own place to build such kinds of construction, which will not affect the life of other people.

In conclusion, I think before one company decides to build a factory, they must take into account the good or bad influence on the residents around this place so that we can reduce the bad effects of that.

TOEFL listening discussions: Why does the young man have grapes for lunch?

[Kitosdad]

Not bad LE, but you must increase your vocabulary, and maybe your sentence structure would benefit from a little attention.

Don't be in a hurry to get your thoughts down in print.

Jot down your ideas on a piece of paper and organize them with a sense of continuity.
This is the best way to write an interesting essay.

Kitos.
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Love_English0405]

Thank you, I'll rewrite it to have a better one.