TOEFL® essay: Over the past century, the most significant contribution of...

[Tuwichi]

Hi,
This is my first essay in this forum. Please amend the mistakes I have made and also suggest how I can improve my writting style.

Thank you

"Over the past century, the most significant contribution of technology has been to make people's lives more comfortable."

Technology has not only made people’s life comfortable but has provided the basis for the development. The contribution of technology would be incomplete if we do not mention various inventions like electricity, transport, television, internet, and telecommunication, which made human life simpler and comfortable. However, some of the inventions like nuclear bomb, nuclear missiles, etc have destructive effects on human life.

Electricity is still considered as one of the most important invention of the era which science has given. In today’s world, human life would be immortal without electricity as most of the household appliances are operated through electricity. On the other hand human life is equally dependent on the various wireless devices like GPS, mobile, laptop, etc. The term development has not only contributed in technical advancements but has also increased geographical boundaries. Hence the term GPS, a location navigator comes into the picture. This wireless tool takes the data from the satellite and is used to navigate different locations. How comfortable it would be if some small device is giving you the direction for whatever location.

This discussion would be incomplete we do not mention the greatest inventions of the today’s world that is, the internet and the mobile phones. If internet has restored the complete world into a small machine then the mobile phones has made the conversation mobile. Now people do not have to be dependent onto different mediums to gather information, as internet is the greatest knowledge repository system. On the other hand, mobile phones have replaced the traditional wired telephones. Therefore, people do not have to stick themselves to one position for the long distance conversations. Consequently, these developments have made human life more comfortable and more self dependent.

In conclusion, it is apparent that the most significant contribution of technology has been to make people’s lives more comfortable. There are ample of technical advancements has been occurred that have made human life simpler.

TOEFL listening discussions: What is Dr Schmidt researching?

[Kitosdad]

Hi,
This is my first essay in this forum. Please amend the mistakes I have made and also suggest how I can improve my writting style.

Thank you

"Over the past century, the most significant contribution of technology has been to make people's lives more comfortable."

Technology has not only made people’s liVES MORE comfortable but has ALSO provided the basis for EVEN FURTHER development.
The contribution of technology would be incomplete if we do not mention various inventions like electricity, transport, television, internet, and telecommunicationS, which HAVE made human life BOTH simpler and MORE comfortable.

However, some of the inventions like THE nuclear bomb, nuclear missiles, etc have HAD destructive effects on human life.

Electricity is still considered as one of the most important inventionS of the era.
In today’s world, human life would be IMPOSSIBLE without electricity, as most of the household appliances are operated through electricity.
On the other hand human life is equally dependent on the various wireless devices like GPS, mobile, laptop, etc.

The term development has not only contributed in technical advancements but has also increased geographical boundaries.
Hence the term GPS, a location navigator, NOW comes into the picture.
This wireless tool takes the data from the satellite and is used to HELP DRIVERS navigate TO different AND UNKNOWN locations.
How comfortable it IS WHEN some small device is giving you the directionS TO whatever location.

This discussion would be incomplete IF we WERE TO not mention the greatest inventions of today’s world, that is, the internet and the mobile phone.

If THE internet has REDUCED the WHOLE world into a small machine then the mobile phone has made the conversation mobile.

Now people do not have to be dependent on different mediums to gather information, as THE internet is the WORLDS greatest knowledge-repository system.

On the other hand, mobile phones have replaced the traditional wired telephones. Therefore, people do not have to RESTRICT themselves to one position for long-distance conversations. Consequently, these developments have made human life more comfortable and more self dependent.

In conclusion, it is apparent that the most significant contribution of technology has been to make people’s lives more comfortable. There are ample technical advancements THAT have BEEN DEVISED WHICH MAKE human life simpler.
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Very good for a first posting. Kitos.
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Tuwichi]

Thank you Kitosdad. I happy that you have reviewed and corrected my essay. I always face problem in concluding essays. If you could guide me in this than it would be a great help.

Thanks once again !!!

[Kitosdad]

The conclusion is usually used to reaffirm the points that you have already outlined in your essay.
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Tuwichi]

Thank you. I keep that in mind.